Sapling

A little sapling

Stretching, Reaching for the sun

Growth

It grows cold

Dark

Freezing

A little sapling breaks

 

Welp, that’s all I had on my mind. I have been blogging….sort of. I haven’t published anything. I have been focusing all my energy on pinpointing what keeps dragging me down, down, down.

I have to return to the last posts published to begin with all that has been on my mind. We have had lots of activity which required facing my fear of flying. I have to say, I can do it…even on my own, without pharmaceuticals. Anxiety is something I’ve had a little more success in conquering.

Depression?

Crap!

 

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About April

I'll come back to this when I find out who I really am. I've been through some extremely rough patches but they have made me a better person. I blog if my brain is functioning first thing in the morning.
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20 Responses to Sapling

  1. Wow April, you are stronger, than you think you are 😀
    You have survived to surrender, so well done.

  2. You have my blessings for any flight you take April, I’m not a good flyer myself. I find if I take a good book or something to distract me the time goes better 😀
    I’m impressed with your defeating it, that takes great courage so take a bow 😀

    • April says:

      My therapist calls it exposure therapy. The only problem is that I don’t fly often. At least enough to get enough exposure. I have white knuckles by the time the plane lands but I made it!!!

      • Great stuff!!! And I can understand not getting enough exposure to it…1, it’s too expensive…2, unless your work requires it, it is only the odd trip or holiday…and 3, why would you get up there among the clouds with a fear of falling down. If God wanted us to fly He wouldn’t have removed our Angel Wings when we were born 😀
        Still, I have to admit after a while I relax and start to enjoy the journey. I even got the courage to go grab an empty window seat and start to enjoy the view 😀
        Your doing well…and a nice new profile shot by the way…your looking good, I can ‘feel’ your journey better with this one.
        Have a great day and plan your next ‘flight’, those exposures are our experiences, and the more we ‘know’ them, the more they lose their power over us 😀

  3. joey says:

    We have to take all the improvements with joy. You’re making progress 🙂

  4. Gallivanta says:

    Depression ugh! But it’s good to see you here again.

  5. Glynis Jolly says:

    That’s great that you can deal with your anxiety without meds. I wish I could. I’m sorry you’re still having so many problems with depression though. This time of year is hard on it too.

    I’ve been wondering where you were. It’s good to see you back in the blogosphere again. I hope you had a nice Thanksgiving Day. ❤

    • April says:

      Thanks, Glynis, I did have a good Thanksgiving. I still have to be on medication to control my anxiety. The medication I used to take to fly, Xanax, let me sleep through it all. With medication and therapy I was able to soak in what my therapist taught me about my anxieties, some of which are phobias.

      • Glynis Jolly says:

        I’m sure glad my only phobia has to do with mice. I’m not afraid of flying but, because there’s nothing out the window except sky usually, I find it boring as all get-out.

        • April says:

          Flying is a little claustrophobic for me. The longer the flight the more restless I am…then the anxiety sets in.

          • Glynis Jolly says:

            I know what you mean by the claustrophobic sensation, April. When going to and from Crete, it’s an 18-hour flight. Even though I didn’t need the sleep, it was easier keeping my eyes closed most of the time.

            BTW, I like your new icon picture. 😀

  6. Elouise says:

    Yay for you! 🙂 I don’t have fear of flying, but our adult son did. It’s real, and takes incredible courage to confront. With planes so crowded now, it’s hard to feel anything but hemmed in, which (I think) makes it even more difficult.

    • April says:

      It does remind me of a can of sardines. These days many disregard the rules and aren’t very polite. It just makes a long day that much longer.

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