What Can I Do?

With all the weather disasters and the latest shooting in Las Vegas, I have been thinking about death.

A lot.

Actually, before all the recent events I was thinking about death. Not suicide, just death.

George Washington was here once. He’s gone. Bam.

King Louis XIV was here once. He’s also gone. Bam.

My dad, sister, and brother were here once. They’re gone.




George and Louis left some memorable moments that have been recorded by historians. Big stuffs.

My dad, sister, and brother left some memorable moments for me and our family. (or is it my family and me?)

Obviously, I won’t be a number 1 bestselling author because I like to break grammatical rules as well as punctuation rules. Syntax? Meh. Oh, and I make up words.

I know that I matter to my family and friends. I know that I have an impact.

But I want more!

I want to rebuild houses in Texas, Louisiana, Florida, Puerto Rico, the Virgin Islands. I want to hug that one person who is ready to give up, to encourage them that they are braver than they think. I want to rescue all animals roaming without a home. I want to plant what was burned in the fires in the western US. I would like to help pick up the pieces in Mexico after the earthquakes.

I don’t want to be famous, I simply want to help where I can. I have researched various volunteer opportunities, including The Red Cross, but my mind doesn’t feel strong. In fact, I’m overwhelmed. I’m cracked and one more little push, I’ll break.

However, I have been rebuilding myself. I also know that maybe…..just maybe….there is one person who will read my words and know that they matter.

It’s what I can do, share my story of recovery, relapsing, recovery and staying that way. My imperfect, persistent way to live and enjoy what I can while I’m here.

I have neglected the blog world and I have struggled. Maybe I’ve been struggling because of my neglect. I must keep moving forward and perhaps this is the way I can help.

I’m alive!




About April

I'll come back to this when I find out who I really am. I've been through some extremely rough patches but they have made me a better person. I blog if my brain is functioning first thing in the morning.
This entry was posted in Depression and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

23 Responses to What Can I Do?

  1. We can’t save all the world, even if this would be great April.
    If you have just a little abundance, you might try to collect either money or other needed items for all the souls, who are in need now. Then you can ask a big company, if they will sponsor the delivering. Just an idea.

    • April says:

      I’ve donated money. I actually donate for families in need of food in our community every time I go grocery shopping. It does make me feel like I’m doing something.

  2. agshap says:

    While there is no way I can save the world other than some small donations, it comes to mind that maybe we should just “pay it forward”. A neighbor in need of help, a friend who needs someone to lean on, our own children and grandchildren who need a helping hand. If we make a difference in one person’s life – maybe it will forever be a memory….and memories last a long time!

  3. You would be surprised in the ‘saving’ you already do by just being you April. How many times has someone just said or did something that has really ‘connected’ with you πŸ˜€
    We are the jewels we are meant to be, and on here you are a cheer squad, mentor and poster girl all in one. Your heart has the bandwidth of a radio station, the impact of a meteor hit and the love of a tidal wave ❀
    You are doing the biggest, bravest thing that you can do my friend…loving you for exactly who you are. It has more impact on all others than any other thing you can do πŸ˜€
    Take a bow, and enjoy singing in the rain ❀
    P.S. The neighbor’s who are watching will only be jealous because they aren’t game enough to do it, and of you because you are πŸ˜€

  4. I have been struggling recently….wanting to do things of more value. I just told my husband today I want to volunteer doing something. I have to find that something.

    • April says:

      Exactly! I still may try the Red Cross because there are quite a few things to do behind the scenes. Money just doesn’t seem like enough. I’ve knitted baby hats, maybe I’ll knit some more somethings…..however, knitted hats or scarves aren’t really necessary in the most recent places of need.

  5. joey says:

    Bam! I love it. I love that you’re still here and that you feel and care so deeply.
    Seeing your last comment, I must say, I donated my girls’ knitted caps to the local children’s hospital and they were delighted. My mother knit so many of them, and of course, the girls just kept growing and growing πŸ™‚ But yeah, it’s not like a hurricane issue…
    I think all the good things add, up, I do.

  6. meANXIETYme says:

    You’ve made an impression and a difference in my life, April. I know you’ve touched others as well. Merely sharing your life with us has made a difference.

    I’ve been crocheting hats for years now for chemo patients. I just finished a small batch of preemie hats for the local NICU. And just a few weeks ago I joined up on American Cancer Society’s volunteer driver program to help people get to treatment appointments when they can’t drive or don’t have help getting there. The need is great, and even though I might not be able to do a ton of the driving because of schedule or how far the trips might be, for every person I help, I change (and touch) a life.

    You don’t have to do big things, you just do. And everything you do is enough, no matter how big or how small. I’m learning that myself.

    • April says:

      I have to keep reminding myself that small steps make a difference. It’s kind of working in mine–until I become overwhelmed….which I am.

  7. Gallivanta says:

    I love the previous comment,’You don’t have to do big things, you just do. And everything you do is enough, no matter how big or how small.’ It sounds like you do a lot already, with your blog, your knitting, your donated goods, and your donations. I haven’t done much volunteering lately but I did work in a church thrift store once. I loved every minute of it even though I was just out the back sorting and ironing clothes. By the way, isn’t this a lovely way to volunteer? https://youtu.be/sewLygDL6Vg

  8. There are those who would suggest that intentions are not enough, but I am not one of them.

    I believe that intentions are everything. The good thoughts create positive vibes and the world can use as many positive vibes that you can offer. You might even consider it a form of prayer.

    If, one day, an opportunity presents itself, and the stars align and you have all the resources you need to follow through on thoughts and intentions of rebuilding after a disaster, that’s wonderful!

    In the meantime, do what you can with what you have – and you will always have the ability to send out healing thoughts.

    • April says:

      While performing my morning routine of stretching before I get out of bed I take note of my mood. If I feel like going back to bed I repeat over and over that this is my day to make it what I can…..I also send out my prayers and wishes to all who struggle in any way. It seems to be helping.

  9. Glynis Jolly says:

    You call is neglect but I wonder… did you need a small sabbatical to gain some focus in some way? I think about taking one every so often but I have not decided if I really need it yet. The last time I took a pause from the blogosphere, I wrote. I doubt a leave of absence would help with that right now.

    About your writing… I like reading your posts. You have a flair for writing. As for the rules, sometimes they should be broken for the good of the piece being written.

    • April says:

      Taking a break from all social media has helped. Making sure I don’t get sidetracked by the television, which I do have control over when I turn it on.

  10. Sometimes it takes all our strength just to be on autopilot, and when that happens we pare down to the absolutely necessary. I can tell how stressed I am by how much I contribute to my blog each week. Helping others can be done in so many ways and sharing your struggles is absolutely a way to help someone else realize they aren’t alone in theirs. Help where you can, but that includes yourself.

  11. Elouise says:

    I wish you could be me, on the other side of reading your posts! The difference between then and now is awesome. Always scary, yes. Still, awesome! You have given your best energy to the one project over which you might just have an iota of control–yourself! You have encouraged me beyond measure in your postings and in your visits and comments. I also love your new word ‘flawsome.’ And I love hearing how grounded you are in your writing–though you may not hear it yourself. You’re a shining beacon of life and hope! πŸ™‚

Comments are closed.