Again, I have started reading, The Mindful Way Through Depression. I have actually read the first chapter….twice! Well, four times if the other readings are taken into account.
Anyway, the author points out how some of us living with depression think something has to be wrong and we should be able to fix ourselves. I’m a fixer so this made total sense to me. Boy, let me tell you, the more I’m unable to fix myself the more disappointed I’ve become. Depression can’t be fixed. It can be managed. Recognize it for what it is, know that it is temporary, and move through it.
If only it were so easy.
However, reading that I don’t have to fix myself was quite eye opening. Before moving on to chapter two, I’ve been letting thoughts flow in and out of my mind. Not the negative how can I be so stupids….did I really say thats….did I do enoughs….is everybody happys….
Just letting thoughts flow in and out.
Without working too hard, a thought traversing through my mind was one of those….oh, so that’s why I react that way.
Can I fix it?
Can a belief about oneself, which has only grown throughout life, be changed?
I believe so.
I hope chapter two has so much more thought provoking content.