The Little Thought That Grew

Depression warning-you may want to skip if you’re having difficulty right now.

Of all the years and years of dealing with depression—most of the time untreated depression, only once did I feel as if I wanted to end it all. Not just run away like I’ve always done but to not exist anymore.

Yesterday I hit that low for a second time in my life, and it scared me. I thought about my family and their loss.

Then I focused on all the little lines that make the tiles in the shower. I looked at the designs of the patterned strip surrounding the walls. I thought about the person who created such a pleasant design. I focused on the water hitting me on the head. The head that is still alive and has a flicker that remains lit.

That little flicker reminds me that I am a warrior inside and I know this mood is temporary.

 

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About April

I'll come back to this when I find out who I really am. I've been through some extremely rough patches but they have made me a better person. I blog if my brain is functioning first thing in the morning.
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13 Responses to The Little Thought That Grew

  1. Simon says:

    Keep fighting! 🙂

  2. meANXIETYme says:

    Fight on, April. HUGS

  3. CAROL GARNER says:

    LOVE YOU..XOXO

  4. That flicker carries as much fire as an inferno. Let it burn!!!!

  5. joey says:

    Keep flickering, April. It will pass. ❤

  6. And you cannot love yourself any more powerful that that decision…to keep loving you, all of you, even though your struggling April. This time will change, as it always does, to a more brighter and loving time ❤
    Sending all that I am in a hug of love to support the heart that made that decision…the heart that is you ❤

  7. Glynis Jolly says:

    You are not a quitter, April.

  8. Gallivanta says:

    I am a great believer in pjs……..they warm the spirit. Hugs.

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