Understanding what we think is what we become has been a long process for me. I’m really tired of feeling depressed, obsessed, sad…..
Ugh, I’m so tired of the questions of what thoughts are swirling in my mind right now?
Our daughter’s wedding is quickly approaching. She gave the the duties of finding a florist and I did with the obsessive zest I tend to lean toward. Yes, I got my hands slapped in the most tactful way. While I was dreaming of this and that, our daughter and her fiance reminded me they are simple people. They want to enjoy the company attending the wedding instead of stressing over details of decorations and fru-fru. They are having their wedding on a very beautiful farm in the foothills of Mount Baker, Washington, and that is more than enough fru-fru.
I’ve obsessively searched for the proper dress to wear. I’ve moved to shoes and rehearsal dinner apparel. Our daughter has asked us for our favorite songs to dance to and I have obsessively searched for songs. In fact, I created an entire playlist for her…..should she need it. However, we were asked to submit three.
Obsessive tendencies….that’s what my therapist has suggested I have. I suppose she’s correct because it leaves me little time for other activities.
Our youngest and Sensible Girlfriend are driving across the states to the wedding with their two Australian Shepherds…..one is still a puppy so that should be a challenge. For months they have planned this trip and are looking forward to visiting various beautiful places the United States holds. During their planning they decided to stay in the Seattle area.
A great big dose of Mom Yikes!
We will now have three kids in three different time zones. I have to admit I felt sorry for myself when our youngest informed us of their plans. Sensible Girlfriend is one of my peeps! However, moving doesn’t mean life ends for me as I know it. It begins a new adventure they have the opportunity to experience and I have a new opportunity to learn how to grow without crutches.
While asking myself why I keep putting my mind at the back of the plane and keep trying to advance, one row at a time, then being set back three rows, is exhausting. Again, I’m overthinking. Sometimes things are what they are. They aren’t always about me.
So, I will sit back and enjoy the beginnings of new lives for two of my kids.
At least I’ll try, but somebody better be serving me Bloody Mary’s as I watch the Premier.