My husband has been taking a class, “Psychology for Living”. He has shared varying topics he has learned. He shares, I nod. Yes, I know about all that. I live that.
The other day, he started describing, Learned Helplessness. Hmmm. He went on to say how it is believed to be the root of some depression. I instantly had tears in my eyes. Could I have learned to put myself through this kind of mind torture? How do I unlearn it? I want to do that now!
So, I went to my source of all sources, Google. Sure enough, there was a topic I hadn’t explored yet. I started reading but didn’t get very far. I didn’t like what I was seeing in myself. To top it off, I returned way back to the cobweb infested part of my brain to dig up the old taunts from childhood friends and the feelings of isolation. All the beliefs created by a young growing mind.
Seriously, I thought I’d moved beyond that. I truly believe the past does not equal the future. We create our destiny with information we have retained through our experiences and interpretations thereof. It’s an ongoing process of receiving information, processing the information based upon what we know to be true, and creating our reality.
As I skimmed one article regarding “unlearning” helplessness I came across something that I already do. It’s known as gratitude, counting your blessings, being thankful. I’m actually doing something to teach myself to correct what I see as flaws in myself. I know I have much more to learn but at least I’m going the right direction.
For some time, I have been trying to regain my confidence. I don’t know why or how, but I lost the warrior inside me. I gave in to helplessness. The notion that if one action didn’t work out, try another, or another, or another, until I attained the desired results….poof….gone….lost in my mind of learned helplessness.
What do I have to be grateful today? I have passed the 6-year mark of my cancer surgery. I’m still alive and cancer free. That should be enough, however I sometimes wish I didn’t live the life inside my mind.
So…..I will continue to learn…..or unlearn, whatever the case may be.