Ha! I’m sure my titles really draw a reader in, but I blog to watch the progression of my thoughts.
I got up again this morning. I felt worse than yesterday. I deliberately repeated sayings in my mind to pull myself out of the pit again. I suppose if you repeat information long enough your mind will tend to believe it. Hey, it worked with my negative thoughts, I simply have to practice my positive thoughts.
As I’ve said, doing much of anything becomes extremely difficult during times of mild to major depression. Even though we know in our minds that we need to do something, the fight is meaningless. We don’t intend to do this, it happens. I fight against it and when I’m not successful I usually slip further into depression.
I read inspirational quotes posted on Instagram. I read them and sit with each one before I scroll to the next. I haven’t read anything lately….just bided time. As I have come to think of it, wasted time.
Anyway, a while back I read a message I tried to capture in my thoughts and hold it there. Obviously, it didn’t work. In fact, I had to scroll way back to find the message and read it again.
You’re so hard on yourself. Take a moment. Sit back. Marvel at your life: at the grief that softened you, at the heartache that made you wiser, at the suffering that strengthened you. Despite everything, you still grew. Be proud of this.
I don’t know the author of this and I had to change a phrase because the person used a word which is not a word. Something I like to do–makeup words–but in this case, since I was sharing, I thought I would correct it.
While scrolling, I came across another…
Don’t settle into the setback. ~ author unknown
Yes, so easy.
Am I making it harder on myself by settling into the setback?
I have come to accept that I have asthma, I’m a lung cancer survivor (of 6 years now), I’m ageing, I’m taller than I’ve ever wanted to be, my teeth aren’t perfect, I’m overweight (which I do have control of), and my hair has some gray in it now.
I have not totally accepted that I have to take medication to stabilize my emotions. I’m at the point now that I wonder if the pills are making me worse. What was I like before? I remember obsessive thoughts, grief, regret, and a sense of losing myself due to normal life changes. How did I get to where I am today?
It’s a part of my life.
I will grow.