First and foremost, I know that there are people in the United States who are just as disappointed with the past election as I am. I know I’m not alone but someone out there may feel that they are alone.
Not everyone is a Stands With Fist type of person. Those lost in the rubble of navigating feelings and what can I do?
I will have to admit that since the election I have been in and out of states of depression. The hardest part for me is that I couldn’t figure out why…..pile on a top of that, a bunch of pretending I’m not depressed creates obsession…abnormal amounts of obsession.
I’m old enough to have paid attention to the actions of different political parties ruling our country. I don’t identify with the Republican party. I just don’t, and that should be okay. It doesn’t make me stupid, blah, blah, blah. I am who I am through my interpretations of my life experiences.
I have had trouble wrapping my mind around the fact that I knew people I seriously didn’t know after all. Some rude about their beliefs, and some simply fighting for what they believe. At first, I was sad to lose some friends, but have since realized that self care is more important to me than a toxic relationship with someone I outgrew decades ago. You know, it’s hard to stand among a group of friends and state that you have a mental illness, it shouldn’t be so hard to state which political party you identify with and not receive an onslaught of vulgarities and name calling.
I’m on a self-imposed exile from news. I have been paying attention to what is being signed and passed by our government while the circus is playing to the public. What’s happening behind the chaos isn’t pretty and I will find my way to fight against what I feel is destroying our environment, the status of our health care, and the education of our children. I will continue to fight the stigma of mental illness and strive to do my part for individuals to have access to affordable care/medications, and not be ashamed to ask.
You know what…..I have allowed myself to believe that there must be something really wrong with me. How can so many people overlook the crass nature of this person we call President? Am I so out of touch with reality that I’m going down the wrong path to recovery? The answer to that would be no, even though I question my sanity each and every day.
Where is my hypomania? I could use some right about now because I have a Stands With Fist inside me that’s simply too depressed to care.
I don’t want to question my ups and down of the illness I suffer from. I accept that I have ups and downs and I’m learning to live in spite of them. I can’t allow someone else control how much mindspace they suck from me. I need all I can contain to keep on fighting.