I’m a Stinking Squirrel

As I was preparing my daily lifeblood, otherwise known as coffee, I watched a little squirrel carry dead leaves up a tree and traverse back down for more. I heard the awful noise of crows having a fit. Remembering a story I read about that stinking bird, I learned that they liked to intimidate hawks to scare them away.

Sure enough, there was a big hawk watching that little squirrel. I opened the door and stepped onto our railless second story balcony and scared off the crows. That hawk mocked me. I danced around and waved my arms, and nothing. I watched that little squirrel hesitantly return to its nest making.

Then I coughed. The hawk, in all its magnificence, soared away.

I didn’t want to be witness to a murder this morning and one little cough ended the hawk’s devious scheme.

With new coffee mug in hand, I turned to look at my zone on the couch. The place that is usually surrounded with what I am working on…knitting, cross stitch, coloring, blogging, reading, digging through the mail…….and in the last several days, the wonderfully thoughtful presents I opened on Christmas Day.

And there it was. Another one of those aha moments.

I’m a stinking squirrel!

Not only do I squirrel things around me to make a security nest, I squirrel away my thoughts.

My mind becomes that hawk that keeps my thoughts swirling around my head. Around and around until the thoughts are mixed with a little self-hate and insecurity.

So……….I’m silent. Others will think I’m mad. I am mad. I’m mad at myself. Well, usually there is something added in the mix that triggered the mad to begin with, but my hawk-mind fuels it with voracious mutating growth.

Why can’t a little cough clear my thoughts?

Where are those stinking crows when I need them?

Word of the day: stinking. 😀

Advertisements

About April

I'll come back to this when I find out who I really am. I've been through some extremely rough patches but they have made me a better person. I blog if my brain is functioning first thing in the morning.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

16 Responses to I’m a Stinking Squirrel

  1. Don says:

    loved your post April. You have a marvellous sense of humour.

  2. Loved this post! I think we might all have some squirrel in us, cocooning ourselves in our comfort zones and surrounding ourselves with the familiar and the contraptions we deem we need. I have an area much like the one you describe – with all my current projects “stuff” I need. I like to retreat into it and ignore everything else. And the thoughts – those persistent little buggers that won’t let go. Yep, circling around and around. Your description is perfect. I guess the balance is in learning to be not only squirrel and hawk, but our own crows as well.
    This post particularly hit home with me today so I’m going to work on being a crow today and scaring off the thoughts that are swirling swirling swirling.
    Stinking – good word of the day!

  3. Glynis Jolly says:

    My mother-law has chairs on her front patio so she can enjoy the outside and still be comfortable. She’s invited me to sit with her on occasion, saying, “Come let the stink roll off of you.” We spend too much time inside one building or another. We get to the point where we don’t even question what is going outside the four walls that surround us. I have a state park not five miles away from me, yet I haven’t been there in over two years.

  4. Everything has purpose April…even the stinking one’s, they show you…you! 😀
    And now you can decide what YOU want to be. A noisy crow? A spying hawk? Or even a squirrel just doing his own thing? They all have stinking bits, trust me. But it is those bits that guide us.
    You have ‘seen’ the bits that you don’t want…let them go…and do what you ‘want’ to be!
    They always guide, until they no longer matter, and suddenly they no longer are a part of who you are and you no longer notice them…you will have changed because of them.
    Wear them with pride, they are given with great love, so that you can find that unconditional love within.
    Have a great day squirrel…just enjoy scampering about being you 😀

  5. suzjones says:

    You’re so awesome April. I love seeing your growth and realisations. And I’ve mentioned to you in the past (I think) that crows are amazing birds. They might annoy us but they serve a useful purpose. 😉

    • April says:

      I have written about stinking crows, so I’m sure you have pointed out the purpose they serve. I have been giving them a break but the noise they make is annoying.

  6. joey says:

    Very perceptive, love the metaphor 🙂

  7. aviets says:

    Great analogy. I’m in desperate need of a cough of my own about now.

Comments are closed.