What Can We Believe Anymore?

On September 11, 2001, I woke up early and had the urge to turn on the television. It was 6am and we were living in the Seattle area. I believed that I needed to check the news because school might be cancelled due to snow. Snow doesn’t happen in Seattle in September.

That’s when I saw the tragic events unfold….right after the first plane hit the Twin Towers. I was worried about all the people who couldn’t get out of the building…..how were they going to get off the top of the building? The second plane hit the second tower, and I remember saying out loud, “no way”.

If someone told me about these events, I would have had a hard time believing that it happened. However, I was seeing it all happen in front of my eyes. Opinions of journalists and newscasters were all in agreement. We were under attack.

Many years have now passed, but that day is still vivid in my mind….just as it is in the minds of countless others.

Another president was elected, twice, and I thoroughly researched every piece of information that was fed to me. I used to have CSPAN on the television as background noise—to block out the incessant barking of dogs in our area. I listened to hearings, and watched votes being cast by our representatives.

I didn’t do anything different with this past election. I watched live speeches, read everything I could, trying to retain information. I took opinions at face value. Opinions that may have been different than mine but I was willing to listen. I texted my kids and urged them to vote. They responded with pictures of their cats cleaning their nether regions. eye roll

However, I feel as if I missed something. I don’t believe that half of our country voted in our next president because not all registered voters voted. A small section of our country chose our next leader…..a huge fear I have had my entire adult life.

News is no longer news.

News from our man-child of a president elect comes in the form of Tweets. False information. Tweets against a parody of him on Saturday Night Live? I understand the concept of multi-tasking, but isn’t there something more important that this narcissist has to do?

As a person suffering from a mental illness, I have difficulty making decisions. I strive to inform myself as best I can.

I worry.

Where can I go for factual information and not just opinions? Does it really matter? My mind processes information independently from the opinion of others. We all do. We take the same presented “facts” and interpret them according to our life experiences.

I started blogging for various reasons and it has turned in the direction of making mental illness not so scary so that people aren’t afraid to seek treatment and to avoid the fear of being ostracized. We aren’t all loonies, we live with more challenges. I would like to see the stigma erased. Unfortunately, our next president is a perfect example ofย untreated mental illness. He perpetuates the stigma.

And I worry.

If you have made it to the end of this post….yay! I recognize I’m not alone with these feelings and I’m fully aware that others don’t agree with me. I just had to have my say so that I can let it go and not have so many obsessive thoughts regarding the health of our country.

I will speak no more of my disappointment and fear on this topic. From now on, I will replace my worry with action…..whatever that may look like.


About April

I'll come back to this when I find out who I really am. I've been through some extremely rough patches but they have made me a better person. I blog if my brain is functioning first thing in the morning.
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28 Responses to What Can We Believe Anymore?

  1. You have very legitimate concerns and valid observations. I was originally going to be a journalist, except after 9/11 I noticed journalistic integrity start to slide and I lost faith in the industry. Not enough people question the source or challenge the information presented to them and they need to. More and more it seems like perception is reality and that is scary. We need to keep talking about this and we can’t accept the lowered standards or we’ll face worse than the sociopath set to be the next president.

  2. joey says:

    I’m with you 100%. I keep (naively) thinking that something will happen, someone will stop him, someone will get through to him…
    But it keeps happening, and every day, every single day is just more shock and awe.

    I still can’t even wrap my mind around the part where millions of people despised HER enough to hand the country to HIM. But see, I know a narcissist when I see one. :/

    • April says:

      I keep thinking I will wake up and find it was all a bad dream. I think apathy led us to this situation. I don’t blame the millions who voted for such a person because they can’t see any other way out of their pain and life situations. I’m pretty positive he will be letting down a lot of those millions.

  3. Bradley says:

    You are definitely not alone in how you’re feeling. No matter how bad things have gotten in my life, I never had trouble sleeping. Now I struggle every night. It’s a sad straight of affairs.

    • April says:

      I’m sure we can do something if we work together to change things. It’s going to be hard work and may take a while but we can do something.

  4. “News is no longer news” sums up how I have felt about the news for years. I wish one of the old networks would reestablish the old Walter Cronkite at the news desk, with sincerity and news only. It would be SO refreshing.

  5. aviets says:

    Thank you for this, April. I know first hand how much the election and its aftermath can rock a person’s entire foundation. I really appreciate you.

  6. Elouise says:

    I echo aviets’ comment above, and add, from my perspective, that it seems things will get worse before they get better. I’m grateful to have clear-thinking friends like you. Not because any of us has a magic wand solution, but because we need to keep reaching out and talking rather than being fearful and hunkering down. Sending you thanks and prayers that we’ll figure out our roles (as bloggers, neighbors and citizens) one day at a time. Listening to each other and to our hearts and our heads.

  7. kelleysdiy says:

    I found this very interesting and agree a lot with you. I had a lot of different traumas placed in my direction in my lifetime…I have been told I could write a book…probably could. Anyway, the one thing I have learned from my lifetime experience thus far…what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger. It is so true. Hold on honey, go with your instinct.

    • April says:

      Sometimes I believe I must be becoming a beast. I have a fear that just one more loss or life setback will tip me over the edge but I keep working on my strength. As I’ve said before, all the challenges I been given I have had 100% success in beating them. Also, thanks for your blog. I love to craft and have not motivated myself to do anything. In a way I feel as if I lost my confidence. You have been giving me inspiration.

      • kelleysdiy says:

        Oh honey, if you only knew what I have overcome in the past 10 years it would make you feel so grateful for your problems. It has made me stronger.That’s what we need to survive is hope. Hope drives us to keep going. At least, at least, take a few moments a day to pamper yourself. I could go on and on….God Bless you honey!

  8. reocochran says:

    April, my brother Rich came by on Wednesday night, went out to eat and we whispered about our fears for the nation. Don’t ask me what he said but seriously, we have a lot to worry about internationally.
    Everyone needs to be less anxious. This doesn’t create unity. Just be pro-active in your small corner of the world or community, trying to create what we had hoped would happen.Your thoughts and feelings are valid, April. You will motivate me tomorrow, to spread a few smiles instead of staying negative. Thank you. xo

    • April says:

      I’m hoping that the question, or statement…..will it really matter one year from now? I certainly hope things are different. I hope that what we do today will have a more positive impact on our country by this time next year.

  9. Gallivanta says:

    It’s very hard to find reliable news sources. And I am not sure we can even be sure it’s actually Donald Trump who tweets his tweets.

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