I’m truly digging deep today. I have basically become existent this last week. I don’t feel like doing anything and I’m pretty sure my husband is growing weary of me. We’re almost back to square one with me instructing him about what I am striving to control and what just seems to happen to me.
Mostly, I expect too much of myself. Logically, I know that high expectations set me up for a fall. However, even though I try to go with the flow, there are times I interrupt that flow and it’s a downhill ride for me. I just need the time and space to be silent and work through what’s going on inside my mind, without the perceived notion that I’m letting someone down.
So, today…..I’m including what I have to be thankful along with what made me smile:
- The roof over our heads, the food we have to eat, the ability to heat our home when it’s cold outside and to cool us when it’s hot.
- That I have the tools and ability to move through the setbacks of my moods.
- That I have a comfortable bed for pouting.
- I still have the ability to put on the mask and make it through the day.
- I remain cancer free.
The following made me smile:
- Conversation with our oldest son. It’s so interesting to hear about his independent life and to recognize how successful he is.
- Google chat with our daughter
- Pumpkin pie
- Our oldest son lamenting that he is approaching 30….which means I’m approaching 60…so don’t tell anyone, okay? We still have some years ahead of us before those milestones.
- My 19-pound cat playing in an empty box, moving the box around the floor while making a lot of noise. (I’m not too sure what he’s chasing in that box…his tail?)
- Oh! Another incident with our bed. I kinda fell out of it. A little bit dizzy in the head, I was trying to quietly toddle to the bathroom but broke the silence when I fell on the nightstand, causing bruises on my arm, and I swear the hypochondriac in me believes that the huge bruise on my side is an indication of a broken rib. Don’t ask me how that happened…..it’s a secret special talent that I have.
- Every day is a new day for new possibilities…even if I don’t think so.
I hope to catch up on reading, online shopping, and general building of holiday cheer. I simply need to go a little slower.
I hope you find something to make you smile today!