Taking it to the limit

I’m about to do something that stretches the limits I have placed upon myself due to fear…or anxiety. My therapist calls it exposure therapy. I have been going through most of the small steps to go beyond the limits of my anxiety and I have been 100% successful so far.

As most who have been following my ramblings, you know I really hate going to the grocery store. I have no reason…just hate it for some reason and it causes anxiety.

I’m going to go to the grocery store in the afternoon! I usually shop strictly in the morning when there are less people in the store.

It may sound a little odd to y’all but it’s a big step for me to shop in the afternoon. The last time I went grocery shopping I made myself peruse the store a little. I took a detour from my mission to get in-get out, and walked a bit slower. I made more eye contact and forced a smile. All the baby steps I have taken to get to that point, with lots and lots of deep breaths and focus, I was successful. It was difficult because I have been a little bit on the depressed side lately.

Will I make it this time? You bet I will….because I want to.

Is it that easy?

We shall see….if I go with the expectation that I will survive, as I have the thousands of times prior to today, I should be okay. If I go with the expectation that I will have a panic attack….will I?

Okay, that’s a good enough pep talk for today…




About April

I'll come back to this when I find out who I really am. I've been through some extremely rough patches but they have made me a better person. I blog if my brain is functioning first thing in the morning.
This entry was posted in Anxeity and Depression, Uncategorized and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

32 Responses to Taking it to the limit

  1. Oh wow.. that is a wonderful and courageous step to take April and I know how hard these steps can be.. My sister had the fear of traveling on a bus.. She would walk for miles rather than get on one.. Two years ago she faced this fear and now can happily get on a bus without an anxiety attack..
    So I know you will master this challenge you have set yourself.. Because You want to master it..
    Sending huge waves of love.. You will do it.. xxx Hugs xxx ❀

  2. meANXIETYme says:

    Go get it! So proud of you. πŸ™‚

  3. Don says:

    Admire your courage April. Thinking of you as you take that step.

  4. mewhoami says:

    That’s great! I love the baby steps you’re taking. You’ll do wonderfully.

  5. Bradley says:

    I understand. I use to run out of stores due to panic attacks. It took awhile for me to finally get over it. I didn’t take baby steps like you are. I probably would have overcome it had I done so. Good to see you’re adapting. Keep up the good work.

  6. Excellent step! I get it — the grocery store is a huge source of anxiety for me. I should write about this since I keep meeting more people who have similar issues. Good vibes as you climb this mountain. You can do it. (And please forgive the overly rah rah cheerleader tone to this comment; or if that works for you even better. 😊😬😍

  7. CAROL GARNER says:

    you can do it…LOVE YOU..XOXO

  8. I know you can do it. So, what exactly did you get there ?

  9. joey says:

    Good for you! I find exposure therapy is helpful, although at times I find myself asking, “What was I even thinking?!?” I have to quickly exit out of that and into gratitude…
    I still try to avoid the big stores as much as possible.
    Driving in the dark is hard for me, and these days, coming home is often in the dark. I DO get anxious and I DO freak out and then I remember I have anxiety disorder and I have to keep going. I am hopeful that as this winter darkness falls earlier and earlier, I will get get better and better.
    Wishing you best of luck!

    • April says:

      ugh, the dark with rain is the worst for me. I’ve been able to use the exposure therapy for a few things. Flying isn’t one of them. My doctor would say something like just drive to the airport and sit in the parking lot. Then next time go to the airport and sit inside…..No way! The drive to the airport is enough to keep me home.

      • joey says:

        I know. It’s truly awful. Tonight we had date night and when we got done it was raining, so I got to drive a good 20 minutes on the interstate in the rain in the dark. Ugh. My husband led the way and talked to me the whole time. I reminded him several times that I was essentially in fugue state and that my reptile brain was pretty much in the mountains of Pennsylvania and OMG HERE COMES A SEMI! Gah, I’m so glad to be home. ❀

  10. TheNutFactory says:

    I’m so glad I’m not the only one with this problem. I also only shop first thing in the morning and you’ll never catch me in there on a Saturday no matter what time of day it is. I try and keep my eyes down and not look at the people because if I see how many people are around I start to panic.
    You can do this, and maybe one day so will I πŸ™‚

    • April says:

      I avoid shopping on Saturdays as well…meaning I never go on a Saturday. However, I didn’t make it to the store…have to give it a go today.

  11. Glynis Jolly says:

    I wish you luck, April. I hate the grocery store, but it’s because I’d rather not eat. Unfortunately, I need food to stay alive.

  12. Gallivanta says:

    What sort of shopping did your family do when you were little? We didn’t have supermarkets in my childhood. There were little shops and a market, and people who delivered to the door. I loved that kind of shopping, still do.
    As I age I loath our modern style of shopping more and more. I don’t get anxiety attacks but I do every thing I can to avoid shopping. 😦

    • April says:

      I remember having our milk delivered. In fact, our neighbor was the milkman. He used to tell us kids that he was going to run over Santa at Christmas time. As far as shopping, we just had smaller versions of what we have now. These super-mega stores are overwhelming.

  13. reocochran says:

    I have faith in you, I see lots of progress since I had my cataract surgery and time up at my Mom’s. Then, trying to stay home and wait for my guy who says staying in bed all day Sat and Sun when he doesn’t have his boys is his comfort place. I finally had a date with the last one being before Halloween. It was such a sweet time, walking around downtown in the cold and eating at a restaurant, his belated birthday gift to me (plus a card, red wine and a lemon liqueur his sister makes and sells in large amounts.)

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