Feeling quite a bit better. New medication tweak must be starting to work.
I did get out with our youngest son and his girlfriend to take photos of the super moon. I didn’t have much success with the photos, but I enjoyed it nonetheless. We went to a new housing development area that was on the top of a hill because there are too many trees that block the horizon.
We walked through the freshly tilled Georgia clay—except it wasn’t clay because we have been having a drought. It was all soft, powdery, and orange. Even though the dirt turned my black sandals brown, and I had to scrub my feet and half way up my legs, it was worth it. Now I have to see if I can remove the orange stains from my capri pants. We got kicked off the hill by the management company representing the new community.
The plus side to having the drought is the most stunning sunny days. The only problem is that we have wildfires in the northern part of our state. The winds have blown the smoke toward our area and have created havoc with my asthma….as well as one of my cats. Yes, cats get asthma and it’s really fun to give them treatments (sarcasm). Therefore, all the enjoyment I have been eeking out by having the windows open, I’ve had to close.
The only upside to depression is when it lifts. However, it’s scary to realize that months happened and now it’s the week before Thanksgiving. I know it isn’t rare for people to react to the rapid approach of a holiday, but I feel as if I weren’t living….just existing. The mechanical movements to eat and sit on the couch. Time ticking away.
Do you see what I have to deal with? Ups and downs. The ups aren’t hypomanic anymore due to one of the medications I’m on, but I do have periods of “normalcy”. Then anxiety or other triggers bring me to depression. The hopeless world inside my mind. The world of darkness. Ticktock. Ticktock. The days I have to dig so deeply to find something that makes life worth living is the only thing that keeps me getting out of bed each morning. I’m thankful that the medications I’m on, prevent me from sliding so far down into the pit that I know when to reach out for help.
The clouds parted and the fog is lifting…I’m almost here again. Hopefully I stick around until after Christmas.
Ohemgee! It’s Thanksgiving next week!