Bad habits can become good habits with the proper help, determination, and a healthy belief system……in my personal experience.
Many, many years ago I realized that what I thought about I will focus on it and believe it. Of course, it was a ton of negative things about myself. I was never perfect enough. I thought about my past and berated myself for doing stupid things.
I learned how to stop the negative thinking but never replaced it with anything positive. I existed in a kind of limbo. I worked on blocking negative thoughts on a daily basis until I finally thought I had control of my life.
When I received my lung cancer diagnosis, all that practice washed away in an instant. I smoked when I was younger but had stopped 23 years prior to my diagnosis. This was my payback for being so reckless with my health all those years ago. Maybe I ended up with cancer for all the stupid things I had done in my past. Every bit of anger I held, every bad word spoken, every thought….I was being held responsible, and paying the consequences for my actions.
With the help of some medications that were right for me and help from my therapist, I relearned how to block the negative thoughts but this time I replaced them with positive thoughts.
I have been striving to change my thoughts for five years this time. Since I had spent so many years already blocking negative thoughts, that part was a bit easier to rebuild. Replacing those thoughts with positive ones has been a challenge.
I wonder why evil has always prevailed over good in my life.
I allowed it to happen.
I created a perception of myself through false thoughts. I lied to myself over and over. Not that I’m perfect, I’m human after all. However, I’m not bad either. I just had to believe it.
I have a habit of sitting cross-legged. Everywhere. Wherever I have space, I cross my legs. Not like a lady, like a kid in kindergarten….crisscross applesauce. You see, I have a bad hip and this type of sitting brings on extreme hip pain. I can’t sleep on that particular side or I wake up in pain….all night long. A habit I’m struggling to change. I would think that I would do anything to avoid physical pain since I have been trying to avoid anything that causes mental pain.
So why is it so hard?