My Anxiety Makes Me Anxious

Fear, we all have it. I know it, but my mind takes that fear and feeds it until I have a mountain instead of a molehill. My insides churn until I’m sick to my stomach and all I seem to think about is that which makes me anxious. I can identify the source and work on this type of fear.

I’m working on my fears until I have control over my reactions to normal daily business.

However, I have times of feeling extreme anxiety and haven’t a clue where it comes from. Standing in a store and finding that I can’t see, everything seems to blur and the people around me seem like they are floating around. Heart beating so fast, palms profusely sweating, can’t breathe, oh-my-I-think-I’m-going-to-die-right-here. That kind of fear is really scary.

I have learned how to live through the attacks of pure panic. Stepping aside and letting them pass through me has helped, but usually I’m at home and can sit alone for a while. I’m determined to not let my fear overcome my life anymore. While I get a little reprieve from depression, I will work on this with great determination and the help of my medications and therapy. Maybe, one day, I will learn the source of the extreme anxiety that overcomes my mind without warning.

I made it out yesterday. All went fine. I actually had two errands to run and had to make a U-turn in order to go the right direction for one of them. I will head out today, and I have plans for next week. Instead of driving a child hauler, I have a new, fun car to drive and I feel more comfortable behind the wheel… I just need to quit letting the fear of the fear overtake my mind.

I’ve got this.

See what I’m doing here? I’m taking that anxiety and standing up to it. I expect to have some, just as everybody does, but I don’t have to let it control me to the point of keeping me from an active life. I can stop my mind from feeding those fears. Later, I will work on the “unknown” anxiety.

There are many ways to conquer a mountain and I shall step on those molehills. If this fraidy cat can do it, so can you.






About April

I'll come back to this when I find out who I really am. I've been through some extremely rough patches but they have made me a better person. I blog if my brain is functioning first thing in the morning.
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24 Responses to My Anxiety Makes Me Anxious

  1. meANXIETYme says:

    Go get your life. Awesome for you, April!

  2. Just go for it April, you need to be in control of your life and not let anyone in to take over, not the anxiety either 🙂

  3. April, my daughter, me and my mom have various levels of anxiety. I think sometimes it is inherited and when I can’t find the source, I wonder if it’s for that very reason. Like maybe my mom had anxiety for a specific reason that I don’t about and now I do and my daughter does and we can’t track it back to a source. Make sense? Good job on working on yours April! ❤
    Diana xo

    • April says:

      Makes complete sense. I know when I get all worked up and anxious my daughter has said more than once that I make her stressed. Neither of us know why we are anxious.

  4. aviets says:

    You’re a good cheerleader!

  5. joey says:

    Go you! 😀 To be fair, the roads are full of idiot drivers and some driving anxiety is normal — except for the idiots, I guess they never worry, lol!

  6. smilecalm says:

    my fraidy dogs
    are wagging for you
    to go out for a walk
    like they are wanting
    to do, right now 🙂

  7. Well done April, self belief is worth the angst of the journey, it creates a love like no other.
    Keep glowing my friend, soon it will be like the sun in the day 🙂

  8. reocochran says:

    I have been trying to read more about anxiety “attacks”, to be more understanding and sympathetic with sending out supportive brain waves. I try to think good thoughts and send them to you, to my seventh grade friend, my college pal, and my guy friend. Many I really care about are dealing with this, April. xo

    • April says:

      It’s a tricky mental thing. It has taken me many years of unwinding the thoughts which make me anxious. I’m not all the way there yet but I can manage a whole lot better than before.

  9. Oh girl. It’s such a vicious cycle that fear. The more we give into fear, the more it grows. I love how you turned each statement around into a positive. So hard to do in the moment! But it’s always possible. Have you read Panic Attack Workbook by David Carbonell? I refer to it slit in my blog. I found it to be so helpful!! You are making great strides. Fear is no match for you!

  10. Gallivanta says:

    Having a new fun car, which was exactly the car I wanted, was an enormous help in persuading me to get over my fear of learning to drive. I guess it gave me some control over what I was doing.

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