Well, I made it. Grieving the loss of our family pet while decreasing a couple of medications.
I’m still standing, and doing it very well. I believe I will have the strength to look inside myself when things seem to go a little wonky. I’m smart enough to know that I’m not perfect and that my mental status can be precarious so I have to be vigilant. I have to eat right and exercise my body as well as my mind. I need to reach out to those who are on my team, and most of all, rest when I need to.
I would like to say I’ve been busy, but mostly I’ve been “adult coloring”. Yes, I find it almost as relaxing as knitting. I have found that I color with whatever pencil I pick out of the pile of leftover colored pencils my kids brought home from school at the end of each year. I have some fancy colored pencils, but the Crayolas work just as well for me. I’ve even made mistakes that would drive me crazy but this exercise has kept me focused on what really matters. If I start in a pattern and stray off, my first instinct is to berate myself. Just as in life…..does it really matter? Will it matter in the big picture?
Crap. I’ve lived my life coloring outside the lines and berating myself for doing so. Now I can see which parts have made me who I am today. Some past shenanigans are not worthy of revisiting because I have learned what I needed and then let I them go. Not that I’m perfect and negative thoughts don’t sneak up on me but I’m onto them. I can choose to let the negative thoughts take over my mind, or I can move along to another topic. It gets easier and easier to work on blocking negative thinking.
Through all this, some of the things I’ve found made me smile:
- We’re finally working on reinforcing the deck. I’m going to get my sanctuary back. It’s been slow going because it has been h-o-t here.
- Couldn’t find one of my cats and later found that I shut him in the pantry.
- The pain I was feeling in my mouth was a fractured tooth. The dentist pulled it. While I’m not completely pain free, I can feel it diminishing so that I can smile…all snaggly toothed. Naw, just kidding. The tooth is a chomper and nobody can see it. Soon I will get an implant. The big thing is that the pain is going away.
I hope you find something to make you smile today.