We used to say “wheee” while on the seesaw. Up we’d go, down we’d go. When we were really rotten, we would try to knock the other off by pushing off really hard, without the other being totally prepared. A kid thing, I suppose.

I would give everything up–well, almost everything–just to have the kind of personality to say…..”Be Happy!” “It’s all in the mind.” Yeah, I’m on that subject again.

Well, hell…..if I could just think about being happy and that I can control this confusing mass between my ears, I would be an expert. And….I would never be anything but happy because it would be such a simple choice, wouldn’t it? I would be the happiest person on earth because I know what it looks like on the other side.

I have learned to recognize when a downslide is coming and I do the best I can to take care of myself and to be easy on what I say to myself. I stop the negative self-talk and replace it with positive thoughts until I believe what I say to myself. Does that make me happy? No…it keeps me from hitting the bottom.

Wheeeee! Here I go!

I feel the downhill roll and I try and slow it by using the techniques I have learned. The best lesson being…I will manage.

I may not be yippy-skippy-happy all the time, but I’ll manage. It’s who I am. It’s part of me until it isn’t. Which may never happen and that’s okay.

Now, I need to go think about being happy so that I can spread the sunshine all around, she says with a bunch of sarcasm.





About April

I'll come back to this when I find out who I really am. I've been through some extremely rough patches but they have made me a better person. I blog if my brain is functioning first thing in the morning.
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17 Responses to Wheeeee!

  1. Here’s to a bunch of Sunshine April.. And here’s to your see-saw being on the rise xxx

  2. meANXIETYme says:

    If you were yippy-skippy-happy all the time, I’d worry about you way more.

    • April says:

      It has certainly made me question if I really do know my friends who post such stuff on FB. But yes, if I were such a Ms. Happy Pants all the time, there would be something wrong because I can get some bees in my bonnet and go on some tangents. πŸ™‚

  3. Elouise says:

    I love your tangents and, especially, your ability to identify when you’re heading downward! If that sounds crass, it isn’t meant to be. It’s just a way of saying you know yourself and can express it in ways that ring true as well as hopeful (whether you feel like it or not). So here’s another smile, just for you! πŸ™‚

  4. Glynis Jolly says:

    I used to have those ups and downs. It’s been over ten years though since it’s really been like a seesaw. A cognitive trick I learned was to ask myself, “Am I depressed?” I figured out that more often than not, I wasn’t. I was bunching up other emotions into the same slot is all. The emotion I was the worse about in doing this with was frustration. Second was anger. Sometimes what I was feeling wasn’t that negative at all. I was contemplative. I just had things on my mind that I needed to figure out.

    These days there seems to be a lot more times when I’m angry. And I do think I have good reason to be. However, what to do to get rid of it is a little complicated and I’m not sure if I want to go to those extremes. While I figure it all out, I tell myself, “There aren’t bad days, just bad moments.”

    April, I’m getting the idea that you’re still beating up on yourself. Please stop. Emotions are complicated and messy, no matter who you are.

    • April says:

      I ask myself about whether or not I’m depressed. I find that frustration is usually behind most of the bad feelings and the negativity toward myself. I may be beating myself up a little, but I’ve smacked myself upside the head and stopped it πŸ™‚

  5. mewhoami says:

    The people who show themselves as happy all the time, are the ones I question the most. What are they trying to hide? It’s good to be honest and to vent our emotions, fears and frustrations – maybe not to everyone on FB, but certainly to a trusted friend. I think that’s the only thing that keeps some of us from going off the deep end. It’s not healthy to keep it all bottled up and hidden behind a face of fake smiles. You’ll get through this. Just take it one day at a time.

    • April says:

      I’m slowly learning how to take it as it comes. The huge thing I am able to do is not to fall so low that I don’t care anymore. I know how to reach out in the right direction.

  6. ecteedoff says:

    i always say, if you can’t be happy, at least be sarcastic, dry, and witty.

    • April says:

      Witty or dry, I’m not sure I have mastered…..but sarcasm? Yes! πŸ™‚

      • ecteedoff says:

        One out of three will do you just fine! Sarcasm is the most important out the three. The other two are just “icing on the cake.” Even through your ups and downs you are really level-headed, April. You understand the complexity, force yourself to explore it, and are realistic in your frustrations and your triumphs. You rock.

        • April says:

          Thanks. πŸ™‚ I’ve had some downs where I became someone foreign to myself. That was the last time I reached that point. I’m hoping with patience and taking my medications, I will never get to that point again.

  7. reocochran says:

    I used to like giving the other person a “bump” but not sure how I did this! Ha ha ha!! πŸ™‚

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