Existential Thinking

Throughout my life I’ve questioned why I’m here. Is this all there is? If so, I don’t want it. If I have no reason to be here, then why do I exist?

I know that I’m not the only person who asks the same questions.

This kind of thinking can really play havoc on the depressed or anxious mind. Perhaps it’s this kind of thinking which leads to depression.

I don’t know, I’m not an expert. It seems to drag me into the pit because I want more. More of everything, especially knowledge. Can we really know everything?

No.

So why am I here? Is this all there is?

Maybe this moment is brief, but I don’t need the answers to these questions anymore.

I’m here, because I am.

Ooooooh. Now, isn’t that some deep thinking for this old lady. 😀

Whatever I’m here to do, I’m going to strive to find myself each moment. When I’m depressed it’s not like my brain quits working, it simply works on all the worthlessness within. With the proper help, I can see specks of knowledge which will lead me to the reason why I’m here.

I’m here, because I am.

I can learn to accept that.

I can learn to accept myself…..warts and all.

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About April

I'll come back to this when I find out who I really am. I've been through some extremely rough patches but they have made me a better person. I blog if my brain is functioning first thing in the morning.
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21 Responses to Existential Thinking

  1. Paul Lamb says:

    Yep, my therapist told me I think too much, which seems to be an occupational hazard for those of us with depression.

  2. Yes you are here because you are… And learning to love who you are and live life in your now moments will help you dear April.. Sending Love your ways x

  3. Learn how to love and love learning. Also I will argue thinking too much is more a “situational” hazard since it’s not all the time.

  4. mewhoami says:

    I’ve had this same thought more times than I can count. I think that no matter what life we live, we’ll always want more and we’ll always question what our true purpose is. From the rich to the poor, the CEOs to the stay-at-home moms…this thought strikes us all. Everyone’s purpose is different. What makes your life complete and what makes mine complete may be two very different things, but we’re all on the same path to the same ending. It’s what we do along the way that matters – the love we share, the people we touch, the fun we have, the relationships we hold dear – that’s where our true purpose is. And these are all things that you have an abundance of. Rejoice in the simple, yet most important pieces of life.

  5. Bradley says:

    Many in A.A. refer to the negative racing thoughts as stinking’ thinking. I’ve had enough stinking thinking in my life, and fight hard to overcome it. It wins many battles, but I feel like I’m winning the war.

  6. aviets says:

    Excellent attitude. And I just have to say, no matter why you might “be here,” I’m extremely thankful that you are “here.”

  7. Well this is some super fine thinking April. I think, as well, that those in this world who see their warts and all, are honest and less judgmental of the rest of the world. Just a thought I’ve often considered.

    • April says:

      The rest of the world makes me very sad. I keep looking for the warm fuzzy stories, they are there but you will never find them on the TV…I have to read them.

      • They are there April, even amidst all of this horror and chaos.

        This world is sad. But I refuse to let it grow and spread through me.

        • April says:

          I obsessed about the natural devastation in Haiti years back and it seriously kept me up at night. That’s when I began looking for the good among the mess, either manmade or made by nature.

  8. Glynis Jolly says:

    My life philosophy is a little different than yours, April. I believe each person has something to do while they’re in this life. Until that thing is done, whatever it may be, they are here. When that one thing is accomplished, it’s time to leave and go on to the next life on whatever level or plane it exists. Of course, whatever this thing is that we need to do is different for each person and no one is giving a clue as to what it is either. All we can do is live our lives to the best of our abilities and will stumble upon this one thing somewhere along the way.

    • April says:

      I like that, Glynis. I hope I’m not done until I’m 100 and am healthy and spry enough to reach that goal….I may not know why I’m here (and I’m okay with that) but I have many things to do before I go. 🙂

  9. reocochran says:

    We all need to accept ourselves and our friends and family, flaws and all. April, I love existentialism and books with this thought process. 🙂 Hugs sent to you! xo

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