If you remember reading something like this, feel free to scroll along because I may repeat.
Dear Village Members,
If the laundry stacks up, the bed doesn’t get made, I don’t feel like cooking dinner. If I don’t want to go out, or my lackluster attempts to show joy over your accomplishments, leave you feeling sad….
I’m not being lazy.
I’m not intentionally being mean or sad.
I seriously care. Inside my mind, some sort of bass-ackward misfiring synapses are running amok. I feel like I don’t care but it’s a mean joke my mind plays on me and it is hard for me to escape from. Even with medication, there may be moments, days, weeks, or months that I may fall into this wonky brain reaction, but it doesn’t mean I love you any less.
I want to participate in life. It’s like I’m a sick, little kid pressing my nose against the window of my brain, desperately wishing I could go out and play.
Not every day is like this, but on the days I let y’all know that this day isn’t a good one for me, that is what I’m feeling….like that little kid.
Please know I will keep trying because there is a me inside just waiting to enjoy life 100% of the time.
Be patient with me.
Your fellow village member is around most of the time but when I’m not, it’s best to leave me in my burrow. I will emerge–usually better than before.
My thanks to you, for giving the act of understanding a chance.