Making Grocery Shopping Fun

Here I sit.

Tis grocery shopping day.

But today is different. We’re doing it. We’re going healthy.

No more ice cream, potato chips, fried anything (which I never fry anyway), no mac ‘n cheese, no more gravies.

Just the good stuff I can’t pronounce and have to Google to see what I’m supposed to find at the store. Ya gotta know what it looks like, you know what I mean?

Which means the perimeter of the store. Except for the cat litter and spice aisles. Oh, and toilet paper and laundry soap.

Can we do it? I want to say yes.

I’m going in for my annual tune up next month and I believe I’ve gained 20 pounds since my last visit. Crap! Did I just type 20 pounds?

Anyway, I know I’m going to receive “the lecture”, along with all the blood test results showing all the numbers that are too high or too low. I know what I have to do but I have little brain gaps that prevent me from doing what I know is right.

Why?

I have been working on this for five years. Actually, I have been striving for a healthy lifestyle a lot longer than five years, it’s the act of not doing it that has me perplexed. My therapist has given me tools to make goals for myself, but I swear…..all the candy in the store has, buy me now, written all over the bags.

 I cram unhealthy things in my mouth, knowing I’m doing harm to my glucose levels, but I do it anyway.

Why?

I know to take baby steps but I sabotage every little step I plan. I’m tired of grunting my way through household chores and finding that my clothes don’t fit well anymore. I’m tired of putting it out in the blog world that I’m committed to walking every day and eating healthy—yet, that exposure doesn’t even make me follow through. By the way, I am no longer doing Weight Watchers.

Do I hate myself? No. Not anymore.

So, why?

I’ve said it before, I live an oxymoron life. I want to be healthy and avoid cancer–or be ready for the next fight, but I do the complete opposite to keep myself healthy. I’ve been semi-successful understanding my emotions and recognizing my triggers, but not with the health of my body.

Why?

 

 

 

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About April

I'll come back to this when I find out who I really am. I've been through some extremely rough patches but they have made me a better person. I blog if my brain is functioning first thing in the morning.
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33 Responses to Making Grocery Shopping Fun

  1. aviets says:

    I’m right there with you on every point.

  2. Situational hazard of living. Even though it would make me literally sick I kept eating things I was ultimately allergic to for decades. When I finally made the correlation it still took me several years to finally get to a point where I wouldn’t just give in to certain foods and deal with the unpleasant side effects. I did real and probably permanent damage to my body because I was in denial and was being defiant about the whole situation. I’m sure part of it was wanting to have control over something (if I am going to get screwed I should at least be the one doing it?) probably like how I pinch myself when I have to give blood so I can cause more pain to myself than that little needle someone else is shoving into my vein. Also, chocolate is fucking delicious and no matter how bad it was for me I would never give it up, some things are just worth it. You are not struggling alone on this issue.

  3. joey says:

    I just think it’s hard. Not clean eating, not for me anyway, I love all the good for you stuff — BUT! The menu, the shopping, the prep, the cooking! It’s much easier to unwrap a goodie or pop open a bag of pretzels or cook something from a box or a can. And even easier to pick up take-out.
    The truth is, healthier people tend to spend a lot of time and focus on being healthy. Lots of produce washing, exercise, flossing — It’s a lifestyle. Some of them make me more aware of it, too. Like, ask your Weight Watchers friends to serve you some cake. “Please can I have a bigger piece?!?” lol I think I’m doing better at portion size (compared to my kids) but they show me I’m NOT.

    I do shop 90% perimeter, and you know what’s on that perimeter? bread and ice cream! 😛 LOL

  4. mewhoami says:

    I love how real you are. Many people put on a happy face for the blogging world, but you just tell it like it is and I appreciate that. Why are you sabotaging your efforts? There could be a hundred different answers to that, so I’d say that instead of searching for “why” which could take forever to figure out, just take the leap and do it. From my experience when you do make the effort to eat better and exercise, you feel SO much better about yourself and that alone makes it easier to continue. You’ve got this!

    • April says:

      I came home with kale of all things. I’ve never tried it. Everything in the cart was healthy eating – minus the cat litter and food. Let the games begin 😉

      • mewhoami says:

        Kale is great when mixed into a garden salad, with lots of ranch. Haha… Kind of defeats the purpose though.

        • April says:

          Actually, we had it mixed with spinach and another green that I can’t recall at the moment. I used a vinaigrette and it wasn’t too bad. Oh! Chard was the third ingredient.

  5. Baby steps. You are so brave. Thanks for writing this.

  6. I restart this journey about 4 times a year……

  7. Glynis Jolly says:

    I admire your determination, April. However, knowing you’ve just hit the 50 mark, do not–DO NOT– beat up on yourself if you don’t reach your goal after this diligent work you’re putting forth. I have a limiting diet, do exercises (just a few because of physical limitations), and try to keep a good general attitude going (this does make a different). Yet, even my doctor doesn’t know what to do for me, let alone what to tell me what I should do for myself. The problem is my age. My metabolism isn’t half as good as it used to be.

    Be kind to yourself.

    • April says:

      I try to be kind…..but I just hit the 57-year-old mark. I like to pretend I’m about 5 but unfortunately I have to add that 7 on the end. So far, I’m working on thinking that I CAN instead of how many times I fail.

  8. My last attempt at eating clean lasted a week. I lost 6 pounds in that week. Didn’t matter at all. One invitation to eat dinner out just turned into three dinners out and all my good eating stopped. I have got to get back into the swing of meal planning again! And now that I have a fancy bike, I had better ride it often!

  9. CAROL GARNER says:

    you will do GREAT…and shopping will go quick as your not going down every aisle..but treat yourslef to a candy now and then …….xoxoxoxo

  10. ecteedoff says:

    I know this can be difficult and I’ve seen you struggle with this for a bit. I think it helps to have those you love with agree to eat the same way-I don’t know whether you and your husband already do. I live alone so I find if I don’t bring things into the house, I can’t eat it. But when I was living with my parents, I ate what they had and it’s difficult not to if you see them eating it too. I think sometimes we try to change everything at once-like we decide one day we are going to exercise 5 days a week. But given our illnesses and the realities of life, I think slow and compassionate is the way to go. I know for me, it’s helped not to think of it as dieting but a lifestyle change-a way of living. Also, it takes time to form habits-good and bad. And it’s ok to “fail” because shit happens and sometimes a good binge is what we want and resisting it just makes it worse. I just want you to have compassion for yourself. You balance so much in your life, so much of which you can’t change or control. But you are so strong. I see it in your writing and how you have inspired me. I hope you can find compassion for yourself and know this is a process-as are most difficult things in life. I’m rooting for you. I also have some awesome recipe books like can make eating fun(if you like to cook). They’re vegan but that sounds scarier than it is. Oh-and I like to sauté my kale with roasted garlic and lemon juice with some cut up avocado on top (you can also do it as a salad. It’s bomb. Also, cooking spinach with julienne dried tomatoes and a little garlic. Yeah, I eat a lot of garlic. Lol.

    • April says:

      I think my husband said it best…”the hardest part is the first step, then committing to taking the next step….

  11. ecteedoff says:

    Sorry, I just reread that and it was super repetitive. On my phone so can’t review as well! Gooooooooooo April!

  12. Oh, I am right there with you on this one. I KNOW what to do. I KNOW what my head tells me to do…and yet..I STILL don’t. I do well for a while with healthy foods and exercise and then I find myself derailed and don’t even know when it happened. Habits? maybe. But I just can’t seem to get my act together on the health front even though I know the consequences.

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