When I hit the bottom of the bottom and began ascending to life, I recognized all the stinky ways I treated people. I would be so involved with my own insecurities and determination to hide them, I don’t think I really saw others around me.
Words spewed from my mouth without any filters. What I thought, is what came out my mouth, whether I intended to be offensive or not.
I still speak before I think but I believed I had changed my thinking about myself and others. I don’t think I have fully developed heart-felt compassion or empathy. At least not in a healthy way.
My sarcastic humor can be hurtful to others and I just didn’t think what I find amusing may be a bad joke, which can hurt someone reading it.
Which happened, today on that Facebook. I didn’t receive a bad comment from one of my friends, just a friendly reminder that some suffer in ways that are different than ours— that’s not funny.
She has given me pause.
I have fought very hard against a tsunami of grief, anxiety, self-loathing, and depression. I’m proud of my progress and proud of how I have learned the value of myself as well as my friendships.
I’m going to pause and think about this for a while.
Not to worry—those of you who are waiting with bated breath for my next house post, it’s coming.
I have some thoughts to mull over.
I want to be the best me I can be!