That Was a Stinkin’ Waste of a Drug Trial

I wasn’t sure I wanted to write this, much less publish it–but here I go.

The past few days have been a mix of emotions. When I entered the veterinarian’s office with tears in my eyes, I realized I was dealing with grief. It’s the third anniversary of my sister’s death and it caught me off guard. I’m also dealing with an overwhelming stash of craft supplies, which is stressing me.

I’ve almost caught up with my paper organization and am looking toward destashing the craft supplies. I had to face the fact that there are some things I’m just not going to do–such as make jewelry. I’m up in the air with scrapbooking because I don’t always have my photos printed. Also, there are programs to create virtual scrapbooks–they can be printed. So….should I keep all that paper and doo-dads or let it go? I do enjoy making my own cards, though.

I’m getting pretty good at asking myself how important an object is to me. Is it important enough to keep? Why? What will my kids do with it after I’m gone? Do they really want a stash of cheap practice beads?

So, after weeks of tapering off Abilify–which was the last drug added to my cocktail–and I didn’t take that long, I think I’m doing pretty well. I have some jitteriness and I’m not sure if it’s just the lack of that particular medication. However I’m soldering on by taking time to breathe and just be.  I can do this without the one drug that raises my blood sugar level and makes me think I have to eat all the time. After a time, we will work on another drug.

As I’ve stated, my goal is to hope exercise and eating healthy will boost my mood enough that I won’t need medication. Realistically, I know that may not be the case. Either way I will accept what I have to accept.

As you can tell by my side bar tracking—I have not been on the treadmill, but I did lose another pound. I’ll get back to exercising. I’m calling my destashing, exercise–which I do work up a sweat so it counts.

 

 

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About April

I'll come back to this when I find out who I really am. I've been through some extremely rough patches but they have made me a better person. I blog if my brain is functioning first thing in the morning.
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22 Responses to That Was a Stinkin’ Waste of a Drug Trial

  1. aviets says:

    I can imagine how stressful the de-cluttering task is, especially as you’re on the hump of coming off a drug. I’m glad you wrote it out today – I hope that helped. Thinking of you!!

  2. joey says:

    I like that you’re not suffering from removing that one drug.
    I understand about the craft stuffs. I only do 2-3 scrapbooks a year at most, and for those, I mostly buy new supplies. The girls’ interests and tastes change. But I do keep a box of supplies in the closet. The brads and zots and neutrals are useful in all projects. This way, when I do new books, I don’t have to buy new hardware etc.
    I’m not a fan of the digital scrapbooks, but if you are, I’d let go of the tangibles. Don’t make me say good Feng Shui again 😉

  3. Bradley says:

    I use to travel a lot and it taught me to not become too attached to things. Makes moves much lighter. On the other hand, I’ve tried decluttering my paperwork and never seem to get it done. I think it’s going to take someone sitting down and watching over me as I do it. Good for you on your progress.

    • April says:

      We moved across the states and I swore that I would pretend that we were moving every year because I did a great job of purging. It’s been 10 years and I still hold onto stuff that isn’t important. Thanks for the encouragement!

  4. Cathy Bohlae says:

    You can bring any craft destash to WA with you….hehehehehe
    So happy to be able to say, See you soon….
    hugs Cathy

  5. reocochran says:

    I feel some of your pain, April. I feel concerned if you are sad, but glad you are trying to deal with eliminating one of the drugs. Good luck with this, sweetie! I hope everything continues to be smooth, but rocky and rough spots may come up. We are here to listen and support you.
    Now for my few moments of complaint, which remind me of yours about craft overpopulation, I have an abundance of photos! 😦
    I went to Walgreens and got 700 pictures printed, only 30 cents apiece, so don’t worry! I was just sad because Micah helped me put about 60 in his album but over the weekend, in between parties, I had 3 other grandies over. They did NOT want to try to help me put photos in albums. I didn’t even print one of the baby Hendrix. I was too worried the others were on my digital camera for quite some time and had very little “memory” left. I am trying not to freak out! Oh well, just joined you for a moment of emotional release and hope we both can get through this time of “need.” I need to leave the library and get some dinner. Smiles, Robin

    • April says:

      It’s kind of a wake up when we notice how much we really do collect. I hope you get some more help from the grandies, sounds like a big job. They will love looking at the photos later in life. 🙂 Oh, and I’m working through the grief, it doesn’t last as long but it still comes every now and then, but I expect that. I think my jitteriness comes from one too many cups of coffee so I’m reducing one of them and see how I feel.

      • reocochran says:

        I get jittery from too much coffee, too.
        ❤ ❤ Hope you realize your sister is always in your heart and memories, dear April. It is very sad and never have lost a sibling or child. I cannot imagine doing either one, hopefully I will go first. (I know that sounds kind of bad, but I mean it in terms I am the oldest so should be first. . . My artist brother had quadruple heart bypass surgery when he was under 55 years old. This scared me to death!)
        Thanks for sympathy or empathy about my tons of photos, April. 🙂

  6. Ah April….you impress me ! I can relate to the stress, but mine is with books. I love them. Want them. But am being over run by them.

    I have long believed exercise is a medication in it’s self for depression. I was thrilled when I came across some studies that said the same thing. I wish I had saved them to share with you. I continue to cheer you on, on your path of taking charge! 🙂

  7. Glynis Jolly says:

    Wondering something: Are your crunches anything like swats?

    Making your own cards sounds like fun. I assume you need to use a heavy paper or a light cardboard for such a project. Where do you get the ideas for the visual? Do you just use the photos you take or do you go beyond that? The words can either be your own or can come from quotes off the internet; either way, the card becomes really special to the receiver.

    Tears at the anniversary of your sister’s passing seem normal to me. My step-sister cries every year at the anniversary of her mom’s passing. We rally around her and support her until the feelings subside a little.

    Spring is almost here. Time for renewal. ❤

    • April says:

      I use the internet for my inspiration for cards, and yes, there is cardstock paper for making them. Sometimes I use my own words, others I use the internet.
      Spring…a time for renewal…I like that. 🙂

  8. suzjones says:

    Ahhh decluttering the craft room. Once again, mine is begging for some reorganisation. However, I have discovered that as soon as I get rid of something then I will more than likely wish that I had it later down the track. It’s kind of annoying really.
    Keep at it dear. You can do this. 🙂

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