Something Happened On the Highway

On my way to one of my -ist doctors, I witnessed an incident that bothered me to the point I got lost on my way to the doctor and was anxious the rest of the day. I bucked up and didn’t cry but I sure wanted to.

Stuck at a street light, I saw movement from the car in the next lane, slightly ahead of me.

As far as I could tell, there was only a man and woman in the car. They were physically fighting. After the light changed and they started moving, it appeared he was yelling at her. He was facing her and not looking at where he was driving. I backed off.

I saw a lot of arms flying and then the car swerving back and forth as if the woman tried to take hold of the steering wheel and crash the car. Just as my lane curved off in a different direction, I saw a door on the driver’s side open. I couldn’t tell if it was the back door or the driver himself. Was there a kid in the car?

I felt sick to my stomach and that vision has stayed with me since.

Maybe I have been sheltered, but I have never witnessed domestic physical abuse. Well, other than the slug bug and slapping between my siblings and me. Oh, and a good dose of verbal abuse from peers.

My heart goes out to any who have been abused in one way or another.

Gosh, I have nothing else to say except maybe this is where I should be volunteering…to help victims in some way. But then I wish there was no such thing.

phew, I just wish I could have gotten the woman out of the car that day.

p.s. As an afterthought, I suppose if I were attached to my cell phone via umbilical cord, I may have followed the car and called 911. However, my phone isn’t something I use in the car while moving. It’s that same thing…I can’t walk and chew gum at the same time so my phone is lost in the abyss of my purse.

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About April

I'll come back to this when I find out who I really am. I've been through some extremely rough patches but they have made me a better person. I blog if my brain is functioning first thing in the morning.
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20 Responses to Something Happened On the Highway

  1. aviets says:

    I’ve seen a similar sight in a car before, and it’s very distressing – and it does make you think really hard about what life is like for other people.

  2. It is an uncomfortable situation and stirs up all sorts of feelings. If people didn’t feel so insecure there wouldn’t be domestic violence. The insecure protagonists wouldn’t start the verbal or physical violence and the insecure victims wouldn’t tolerate it. We all want to be loved and accepted but so few of us are ever given the opportunity to give or receive the thing we all want more than anything else (even when we try to give it, some people refuse to accept it) and it leads to so much unhappiness around the world. Being aware of it is the first step towards being able to counter it.

    • April says:

      I have seen and heard the end results of domestic battery but have never actually seen it in action. It was such a sick scary feeling.

  3. mewhoami says:

    That would be a great volunteering idea, although as you said, it’s sad that it’s needed in the first place. It’s scary to see people in need without having the ability to help – or not knowing how to. Even if it were her who started the fight (women can be brutal), he should never use force against her, except perhaps to push her away.

    • April says:

      It looked more like she was defending herself. I’m not sure it would be that great of a volunteer effort for me because my emotions would end up right where I started my journey. I will find some way.

  4. ecteedoff says:

    That’s horrible. In the future, if u get a look at the plates or the make and color of the car, sometimes u can call 911 or stop by the police station. I am Magent you’re flustered plus I know personally I don’t have the memory to remember a license plate for longer than five seconds. But my brother is a cop and he said to never be afraid to call 911 even if it’s not an immediate emergency. I’m sorry you had to go through that and I can imagine it impacting your day but I think it says a lot about you that it makes you want to take a step forward and not just witnessed something and let it go. that’s amazing

    • April says:

      I know my memory is extremely short and I didn’t even think to dig for my phone (which would have put even more drivers in danger). I always thought I would jump into action but I kind of froze. I should have pulled over and called 911.

  5. reocochran says:

    This would be a meaningful gift of your time to volunteer, April. Dont feel bad about not doing anything. You care and maybe a silent prayer went across the air waves. ♡ The location is confidential and the position challenging. I had a paid position at a battered women’s shelter in Lancaster, Ohio. I was the Child Advocate, my first part of my job was to listen to the children’s version of home life, next make a plan of action. We would write goals, too. We play acted, we used a doll house to shoe role playing. I wrote a short and simple book to use with children about “good” and “bad” touches.
    My favorite part was that I wrote a 60 page grant with reciprocal agreements with county and local programs which Senator Gene Branstool presented to the sub-committee, of Ohio senate. They passed a line item on the state budget giving children’s programming funding.
    We have baskets at church once a month which collect personal care items for the families at a shelter in Marion, now that I live far away from the Lighthouse. I worked with 150 children in 18 months. Just to let you know how many children passed through the doors and stayed there for over one day. The longest staying family was also the most devastating to my family. My children and I grew close in the 9 months they stayed. Volunteering to read at a school or to work at a local soup kitchen or food bank are also great choices. You have a kind heart! 🙂

    • April says:

      I used to volunteer at an elementary school for struggling readers but didn’t connect the two. I wish I could stop it before it starts. I’m seeing other ways I can help, though. Thanks!

  6. April says:

    I think volunteering is a great idea! Unfortunately I have witnessed domestic violence in early years. My mom was abused by my stepda d who suffered from PTSD. Its no excuse and he got help and hasn’t hurt her in over 25 Yeats but it happened. If you had intervened it would have been worse for her, that I can assure you. Its hard to know the right thing to do, but I think you did the right thing.

    • April says:

      I didn’t even think my involvement would make it worse for her, but I can see that happening. All I could think of was his apparent rage—an emotion I have felt before but never acted out. Scary, scary, scary.

  7. Glynis Jolly says:

    Abuse in moving vehicles isn’t anything rare, I’m afraid. I’ve been there and done that, many years ago. Volunteering to help the abused is a noble act, but you have to be willing to get down in the trenches for it. And most who are abused are going to resist at least the little because of wrongly felt feelings of guilt.

    • April says:

      I wish it didn’t happen, but I know that my ‘volunteerism’ would have to be a behind the scenes type of thing. You know, I could knit for battered women’s shelters and such. Emotionally, I don’t feel strong enough to get down in the trenches, but I know there is something I must be able to do.

      • Glynis Jolly says:

        Knitting is good, April. Mittens and hats are what come to mind first. Many abused women have children and live where cold temperatures are. (Yes, I know that you’re well aware of the concept of real cold.) When there was more than one car in our household, I used to volunteer at “food banks” putting groups of staples into bags for battered women. All things help, April. 😉

  8. joey says:

    I reported my neighbors once. (I was home, it was simple.) It really is a terrible thing to witness, and far too common.

  9. Gallivanta says:

    I haven’t witnessed anything like this, and have no idea what I would do. Does your area have a special number to report domestic abuse or violence? Might be handy to have such a number, even if it is just to call someone and ask for their advice about what you saw.

    • April says:

      If I weren’t driving, I would have called the emergency number. They were putting many lives at risk. I have had many people tell me that if there were some type of involvement, even from the police, the abuse would be worse for the victim. It makes me sad that things like this happen in our world.

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