Anxiety – the kind that interferes with life – is tricky business.
I have worked through phobias and some of the anxieties I created due to years of untreated anxiety. These days I take medication and attend therapy sessions to tame my anxious thoughts. My goal is to be able to live a life without medication.
…..but then it sneaks up on me. It’s as if it’s lying in wait for just the right moment to strike. It’s like an animal that stalks and taunts me, then attacks from behind.
For two days, I was having chest pains and it dialed up my health anxiety, which caused more chest pains. So I consulted Dr. Google because I knew women presented with different symptoms than men during a heart attack, I didn’t know what those symptoms were. In the past, I have believed I was having heart issues during an anxiety attack, but I knew I was in the midst of anxiety. This time I experienced a different sort of chest pain and I didn’t believe I was having an anxiety attack.
I took my usual medications and the pain subsided. I thought to myself, aha–anxiety. But the pain came back Monday morning and it scared me enough that it scared my husband. Off we went to the emergency room.
As you might have guessed, my heart is fine and I received a bit of instruction from Nurse Too Cheery-First Thing In The Morning Pants regarding the difference between a heart attack and a panic/anxiety attack.
Anyway, needless to say, my week didn’t start off well but I did find a few satisfactory items which made me smile:
- I didn’t have a heart attack.
The patience of my husband.
I finished painting a bedroom and bathroom – two coats! Oh, plus a couple coats of primer.
The little cat we inherited from our youngest performed some acrobatic flying up the stairs. She’s a nimble little critter.
The same little cat swished her tail through the paint tray. Well—it’s funny now, but at the time I wasn’t smiling.
Our cupboards are bare and the refrigerator has a few science experiments a-brewing but I managed to gain a couple of pounds. That really didn’t make me smile either, but it has inspired me to exercise.
p.s. we no longer have any chocolate chips, coconut, or crackers 😀