Oh! I’m so done with cancer!

Mini rant

I went to get my results today, and my oncologist didn’t have my report that I have stressed about the past week.

No report!?!

I know I’m just one of many patients who have scans, but to each and every one of us, those scans reveal the golden egg or the rotten one. How does one get “lost in the system”? How come it took my oncologist several attempts just to get someone to dig around in that “vast system” to find my scan.

We were in her office for two hours. She finally reached a doctor and was reassured, after skimming over my scan, that nothing had changed.

Skimming.

Why does it take a week to read a scan and send the report to the doctor if a scan can be skimmed over in 5 minutes? Something stinks and I have to say I’m quite riled up at the moment.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy and very grateful that there appears to be no change, but I have absolutely no confidence in the facility I had my scan taken. Is this like the original scan where the first doctor recommended antibiotics for cancer—or the second doctor who told me not to lose any sleep? It’s the one and only time I will go there for a test.

What I’m really over is the worry about cancer rearing its ugly head again. I waste too many days before and after a scan dealing with the physical exhaustion anxiety causes. I either don’t eat, or I overeat. I don’t sleep and can’t focus on much. I have to busy myself with constant activity to get through the days until I am given the results of my scan.

But—oh. my. gosh. I refuse to let my fear get the better of me again!

Maybe I needed this little snafu on the part of the radiologist to show me that I need to live. Now.

This was the nice version of my rant. The one going on in my head is filled with a bunch of name calling and unsavory words.

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About April

I'll come back to this when I find out who I really am. I've been through some extremely rough patches but they have made me a better person. I blog if my brain is functioning first thing in the morning.
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38 Responses to Oh! I’m so done with cancer!

  1. joey says:

    I think you’ve every right to complain and rant and scream! So much so that before your next scan, I’d call and ask if they actually have the bloody, freakin scan and are ready for you. Shame on them.

  2. mewhoami says:

    How frustrating! To them it may seem like no big deal, but to someone anxiously awaiting results that could forever change their life, it is a huge deal! I’d be irritated too. But, with all that said…yay! I’m so happy to hear that all is well!

  3. aviets says:

    Oh. My. Gosh. You have every right to be absolutely furious. I’m really glad you have the option of going somewhere else next time. Now how about an angry letter to this facility? Or do they have a place online for reviews?

  4. Elouise says:

    Hmm. Nice rant. I think the one in your head would be at least equally juicy! Nonetheless, your conclusion about living now sounds like a Really Good Plan!
    Elouise

  5. meANXIETYme says:

    Well, good news, nothing new. I’m really really happy for you about that.
    On the other note, WTeverlovingH? Don’t skim a CT scan, dude! Study it! Good grief, really? I’m appalled on your behalf that all that happened. It stinks, for sure.
    But again, all kinds of happiness for your good news.

    • meANXIETYme says:

      Ugh, I meant to say “good news that there’s nothing new on the scan” but it didn’t come out that way. My apologies on that. 🙂

    • April says:

      When I left I asked my oncologist to make sure that take the time to really read my scan, comparing to the others and send a complete report. I told her I had lost all confidence. I’m pretty sure she was mad but did a fantastic job at keeping her comments low key.

      • meANXIETYme says:

        She can be mad, but then again so can you. The radiologists did you a disservice and that needs to be addressed. Additionally, your onc knew you were coming in and should have made sure (or the staff should have) that your report was ready and waiting. That, too, needs to be addressed by the onc.
        You have every right to feel the way you do! It sucks to feel that way, but it’s valid.

        • April says:

          Exactly what I thought…the doctor should have known before my appointment that they didn’t have the report. Kind of makes me not quite trust what she is saying–besides, she is so chatty that i have a difficult time getting in questions. Both my husband and I let her know we had no confidence with the whole situation. I will be making sure the imaging place is aware of the situation. It is so hard to ‘fight’ against these people when feeling the most anxious a person can get. I’m seriously mad now, and I don’t want it to happen to someone else.

          • meANXIETYme says:

            Yeah, being anxious and having to fight for your medical rights is very hard. It’s exhausting to be anxious, so summoning the energy to fight feels nearly impossible. I’m sorry you’re in that situation.
            One of the things I like about my gyn/onc/surgeon is that he stops periodically to ask if I understand what he’s said…he doesn’t wait until the end of a long dissertation to find out. It’s like he gives me info in chunks and then checks in to see if I am following. But then again, he’s NOT generally chatty.
            I’m sending you good thoughts.

  6. Glynis Jolly says:

    I was going to comment on your last post but before placing my fingers on the keyboard, I realized that you hadn’t written about the results. I’m definitely missing something here. So I raced back up to the top of the page to see if I had missed a post. Nope — but there was a more recent one I hadn’t read yet. Ah-ha! I don’t know how I would feel if I was you. I’ve never had cancer. Would I have developed the philosophy of ‘live for today and don’t worry about tomorrow’? Or would I be a tangled mess of anxiety wondering if I’ll have to go through Chemo again or if I’ll even live any longer?

    April, all I can say is this — If you need to rant without parent controls to consider, you know my email address. ❤ ❤ ❤

    • April says:

      😀 My biggest accomplishment was that I didn’t cry out of anger and frustration. I’m thinking that living for today sounds a whole lot easier than living in the world of scanxiety.

  7. Feel free to scream those words April! There is NO excuse for this. You can bet they won’t bill for five minutes of time to scan a test. I’m thinking, and said out loud as well, some unsavory words!!!

  8. reocochran says:

    Knowing someone has an appointment and it is to find out results and there were none ready. Oh. Boy! I would have been hopping mad. I swear from time to time, April. I would, while in your shoes. Good news finally imparted and a big sigh of relief needs to settle upon you for at least awhile. Are you ready to Celebrate?!

    • April says:

      I’m not celebrating yet…I’m still mad, mad, mad. I have to accomplish a few more things by bringing this attention to heads of departments first. My doctor had me in a vulnerable spot and I wasn’t thinking clearly enough to ask her why she didn’t know ahead of time she didn’t have the report. Not good, not good.

  9. Must be frustrating… sorry though.

  10. Gallivanta says:

    Oh my, April, what a hideous stuff-up. 😦 Thank goodness the results are good but what a way to find out. Ban scanxiety! (But don’t ban ranting and complaining.)

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