I have used the word many times. In my mind, positive thinking meant placing high expectations on myself to be Ms. Perky-Happy Pants.
Imagine the self-hate created when I couldn’t be Ms. Perky-Happy Pants all the time. I now realize how silly that definition was. It wasn’t until I changed my way of thinking to focused thinking.
…..and I didn’t recognize that I was continuing to focus on what I wasn’t accomplishing (the negative) instead of all the little steps I was accomplishing (the positive).
Yesterday I went to the grocery store, and to see Dr. Chill, who helped me recognize what I was doing to myself. I cooked dinner–a healthy one. I woke up before a goal I had set to create a morning routine, and I binge watched a show on Netflix as I knitted, trying to keep my mind off of my scan results.
With the exception of breathing, I could have pushed all the other things I did today–the last week–the last month–to the ignore pile.
I will focus on what I accomplish each and every day. Looking for beauty or something to smile about has become second nature to me, just as the negative thinking was.
The focus of my attention is being redirected.