Need to Know Basis

This could be a depression trigger, enter at your own risk

First of all, I just want to let y’all know that I’m not depressed right now. Doing some soul searching, but not depressed. I have been caught off guard with some of my thoughts, but I’m strong and will basically ignore them. 🙂

Some of you know that I belong to a photography club. One filled with people of different backgrounds with a common interest. I don’t know any of them well, but I like them all.

One guy is a funny, funny person. He is the one who tells me where to find the best gin–which I can’t drink now anyway. I like his sense of humor.

Then came the joke. You know….the one about us loony people. I don’t need to retell the joke, but I can say that tears fell from my eyes when I read it on the group’s Facebook page.

The tears were not for my feelings over the joke, they were for the fact that mental illness continues to be a joke to many.

I’m beginning to understand what caused me to swirl the drain this last time—a brain can only process so much before the foundation cracks. I had a weak foundation to start with due to how I perceive myself from a lifetime of self-berating.

As much as I’d like to say….hey, hey, hey….play nice, I will keep my mouth shut because I’m tired of standing on my soapbox.

I’m just like most.

My struggles are different, but they are real.

They are painful.

They are serious.

Like chronic pain, cancer, diabetes, multiple sclerosis….

Hey! You! Instead of making you feel bad because your joke was insensitive, you don’t know what I struggle with because people like me suffer in silence.

And we smile.

And we pretend.







About April

I'll come back to this when I find out who I really am. I've been through some extremely rough patches but they have made me a better person. I blog if my brain is functioning first thing in the morning.
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21 Responses to Need to Know Basis

  1. aviets says:

    Seething for you. I completely understand why you’re choosing not to comment on this insensitivity. But if you wanna tell me how to find that FB page, I’ll blast somebody’s pants off.
    Sending hugs.

    Oh, and I’m really glad you’re doing fine and just being reflective. 🙂

  2. Thank you for sharing. Thank you for being strong enough to talk about your struggles, instead of just making a joke or pretending. Has anyone told you today how awesome you are?

  3. Cathy Bohlae says:

    There other jokes about other conditions not to slight you at all my dear. Jokes about gut problems are out there……not longer do I shrivel. Hugs to us all……I also bet there are times that these jokes don’t get to you but you just don’t count those! hugs as usual my dear……

    • April says:

      Mostly, the jokes don’t get to me unless they come from a ‘friend’. I can’t remember the last joke I heard about someone being ‘strange’ because they are fighting cancer. Or…did you hear the one about the guy with diabetes? Or….a person on kidney dialysis walked into a bar.

      All jokes about a person’s health, race, religious views, sexual orientation…are in poor taste. I know there are many other conditions that are ridiculed. I didn’t mean to sound like mental illness is the only condition jokes are made of.

      I do ignore most—it just makes me sad that we can’t all treat each other with some compassion and/or empathy. We all have our own struggles and they aren’t jokes.

      Thanks for the hugs, Cathy 😀

  4. April, you are such a strong woman wow 😀
    It is not funny when people laugh of something as hurt a soul with mental illness, but you are still going strong, so nice to see…

  5. Thank you April. Reflective, thought provoking. How many times a day do ‘we’ as a whole make a comment or off hand remark-not knowing where it lands. Or who we’ve hurt. I’ll follow up on DoBetterAlway’s comment….you are awesome. It takes determination to look at these things square in the eye and stare them down.

    • April says:

      The title of my blog could be a interpreted as insensitive. I would like to stand and speak louder for all to hear. I know my friend didn’t mean any harm, it didn’t make it hurt any less.

      • I think the speaking your truths is both courageous and enough. How loud you speak isn’t necessarily the need, it’s the truths and the power YOU have to speak them that will get your message heard.

        I know what you mean about your friend. And we all do it. I think we as a whole are becoming more careful and thoughtful about what we say. But things get said that are not meant to hurt. Like you said, they do though.

  6. mewhoami says:

    Having not suffered with clinical depression, I may not fully understand, but having suffered from an invisible autoimmune disease I do to a degree. It hurts when people don’t see or understand the severity of a problem. Just because they cannot see it, does not mean that it doesn’t exist. We are called liars, fakers, or in my case – “it’s probably anxiety” Tcha! Tell that to all the bad blood work and spinal tap results. It’s beyond frustrating and I’m sorry that you have to deal with this.

    • April says:

      I know I was a little over-sensitive by the comment and I’m sure my co-club member friend didn’t mean harm. I’m wondering if it is just my frustration with the fact that I’m just not ‘normal’. Not the joke so much as the feeling of being different.

  7. Glynis Jolly says:

    I know what you mean, April. My own niece made fun of people with retardation. Yes, I know, it’s not mental illness. Still, she was making a gesture with her arm and hand supposedly to look like someone retarded. I was there. I was hurt by it. Hurt deeply by it. I have things wrong with my brain from the stroke I had. Not only that — I’ve know people with mental limitations (including stroke victims) who are wonderful human beings. As you can imagine, I have no respect for my niece. I wish I didn’t know her at all.

    • April says:

      That kind of joke usually hits hardest when it comes from those closest to us. Maybe we expect too much from them. I usually keep my ‘jokes’ for the ears of my immediate family—like the times I forget something, I have a little saying.

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