N is for No means No

Many of us are people pleasers. Some of us neglect our own well being for the sake of making life easier for another.

To keep my mind occupied, I kept myself busy….way too busy.

I volunteered for everything. I had an entire elementary full teachers who loved when one of our children were in their classes. However, I did more than help my children’s teachers, I helped any teacher who needed help. I performed reading tests, I helped with the struggling readers. I helped in the office, the library, the playground…..Cub Scout Leader, Girl Scout Leader, fundraisers for whatever and wherever help was needed to raise money.

I burned out.

Completely.

I was empty inside because I neglected myself.

It’s okay to say no. We have to say no sometimes. Once a person reaches the burnout phase, it takes a long time to want to volunteer again. For me, I avoided the topic of volunteerism, and ran the other way when I knew someone would need help.

After about nine years of recovery, I am finally getting back to feeling like I have something to give to others. I have also learned when to say no.

Even Grannie Superpanties can’t do everything.

Advertisements

About April

I'll come back to this when I find out who I really am. I've been through some extremely rough patches but they have made me a better person. I blog if my brain is functioning first thing in the morning.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

15 Responses to N is for No means No

  1. suzjones says:

    Ha ha. Granny Superpanties.
    I like to call myself Super Granny Panties rofl

  2. Oh my goodness, I so relate to this post. Sometimes I think my younger set of children are so deprived in comparison, but the burnout from the first two is only beginning to wear off! For about five years, whenever anyone asked me to help with anything, I said I’d think about it.
    I’ve always found the problem is each thing, school, scouts, sports, comes with the expectation that parents will do anything to encourage success, but when you have multiple children in multiple activities, uh…yeah, no. lol

  3. Wise words, balance is an important skill to learn in life.

  4. aviets says:

    That really can be a hard lesson to learn. I got seriously burned when our oldest was just in 1st grade – by rabid PTA moms. They were totally shocked when the next year I said NO to everything they asked me to do. I found my own ways to help at school, without being dictated to by PTA. Ha!

    • April says:

      OMG! I forgot about PTA. What a bunch of control freaks (from where I was–and also my personal point of view). I also found other ways to help. In fact a couple of teachers, a friend of mine, and I formed a volunteer group separate from the PTA. We had read-ins where the kids were locked into the school overnight with a bunch of crazy adults. They played word games and such, and then read, more games, read. Then we all slept on the hard floor of the gym/cafeteria. Even though I did get burned out, I do have some fond memories.

  5. Elouise says:

    Grannie Superpanties. That’s a new one for me. I love it! I can relate to your volunteeritis. I struggle with wanting to please people (who aren’t out to get me), and knowing what I really want to do and am able and willing to offer right now. Thanks for this post.
    Elouise

    • April says:

      I have more difficulty saying to face-to-face, but over the phone I have no problem. My photography club tried to get me more involved in the running of the club. I just couldn’t do it. Depression really made a flaky person of me.

  6. mewhoami says:

    Impressive! You’d be an asset in any school with all that volunteering. I can see though how it could burn someone out after a while. Saying no is something that I struggle with. I think ‘no’ all the time, but almost always say ‘yes.’

    • April says:

      I learned to duck around the corners. 🙂 We moved from there a couple days after our youngest finished 6th grade. I was volunteering up to that day. I didn’t even attempt offering help when we moved.

  7. Why is this such a difficult concept for us to understand???

Comments are closed.