**To some, this may sound repetitive, some of it is…..
My younger sister was told in March 2012 that she was in end-stage heart failure and end-stage kidney failure. Her doctor talked to her about a machine that would help her heart pump (LVAD–I think was what she was referring to?). He also told her she would need a heart/kidney transplant, and the LVAD would buy her some time. A double transplantation of heart/kidney isn’t performed many places, but I did my obsessive Google research and was ready to take her off to where she needed to go.
With tears welling in my eyes, I talked to my doctor about donating one of my kidneys, but at the time it was less than a year after my cancer diagnosis/surgery–wouldn’t you know–a person who has had cancer can’t be a donor unless they have been 5-years cancer free.
After her doctor gave her — and us — much hope, it all came down to the fact that her health was too poor and she wouldn’t be considered a candidate for the LVAD or for the heart/kidney transplant. She couldn’t even make it on the kidney transplant list because her heart wouldn’t have survived the surgery. Her doctor told her it was just a matter of time.
She died in March 2013.
During that year, we talked a lot about life. We talked about her mental state and what it was like to know that her days were limited. I was so fortunate to spend time with her during her dialysis appointments (4 times a week for 4+ hours each time) during a visit to the Seattle area. You know, she was working full-time as well. She was going to go to work the day she died, but she didn’t wake up.
Her words, it is what it is, will always stay with me whether I recall them when I need them or not.
My youngest sister has lived with Multiple Sclerosis for over 30 years. She is in constant pain, but she lives in spite of her disease. She can’t control her progressive disease, therefore—it is what it is.
Chronic anxiety and depression is something I have been fighting against. For me, there isn’t a cure—just management. I will have bad spells and I have to tell myself it is what it is instead of being mad at myself for being depressed again. I have to ride it out the best way I know how, which is usually through humor. Dr. Chill is one smart cookie and has given me the tools and the insight I need to endure.
it is what it is