Ha! I just had to jump on the bandwagon using the 50 shades of headline, and this one may have been used by someone else. 😀
I have reached a particular point in my recovery from depression and I’m not sure what to do about it. It’s something I didn’t expect, and I’m not sure I have come across it in any of the self help articles or books I’ve read.
I feel lost.
I feel as if my true inner self has been like a hibernating bear. One which has been hibernating through many many winters and finally emerges into the sunlight. I have been asleep for so long, I forgot how to live.
An extremely disturbing thought I’ve had, is wishing for that non-feeling that gave me an odd sense of comfort for so long. Sounds weird? Yes, it does to me as well.
Is this why it’s so hard to fight against depression?
I’m not afraid, I simply feel like I’m in a foreign country unable to understand the language or read the road signs.
I stand at another fork in the road. One side of the fork returns to depression and a way of life I became accustomed to, the other side is into the unknown.
I’m a person without an identity.
I will take the path to forge ahead, because I have enough support to help me along the way. I’m accepting the fact that some things I simply can’t control and that life is full of unexpected occurrences.
I’m ready for them.
I just don’t know who I am.