have a little faith in yourself

Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the staircase. -Martin Luther King Jr.

The above quote has been on my mind for weeks.

There are so many uplifting blogs full of inspirational messages, and I can honestly say that while I was depressed, not one word made a difference to me. It didn’t matter until I learned how to make it matter.

Ideas for most of my blog content became a way to paint a picture for those who don’t understand what it’s like inside the tortured mind of a depressed person. It is not a matter of choosing happiness over sadness. Depression is far more than sadness. It can’t be thought away, but continuously thinking about the misery can keep us down.

To recover, focus has to be placed on the correct thing. Part of which is believing that you are stronger than you think, and are worthy of a life.

As I began to type this morning, I started rehashing what brought me to the world of depression and to show how far I’ve come. Some of you who have followed me for a while know, as I have repeated it one too many times. You also know how far I’ve come.

When I wrote about all the events the first time, that was my world. Every time I wrote about what took me to the edge of not wanting to live, I became suffocated by my own negative thoughts and hopelessness.

It’s highly doubtful I will be sharing too much of my mindful determination, or the work it took to reach this point of recovery. I have gone beyond wanting to teach what depression feels like.

I want to inspire others to understand that anxiety and depression can be managed.

I have no clue what I will blog about in the future, but I will no longer give negativity any more power over me.

My words won’t make a difference if someone isn’t trying to move from the place in which they focus all their waking thoughts. They may not have chosen the existence of depression or anxiety and not know how to relieve their pain, but I can’t do it for them.

Somewhere, in the fog, there is help. It’s up to you to ask for it. To fight for it.

There is hope.

You are worthy.

Just take that one step—the staircase it there—trust me.

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About April

I'll come back to this when I find out who I really am. I've been through some extremely rough patches but they have made me a better person. I blog if my brain is functioning first thing in the morning.
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12 Responses to have a little faith in yourself

  1. mewhoami says:

    Sadly, you’re right. Words are great, but useless if the person isn’t ready to hear them. Fortunately, when they are ready and are on the way toward improvement, then they will have your words to help them through.

  2. reocochran says:

    I love how you are motivating others who may feel lost in their own personal ‘fogs,’ April. I also am happy you try, you have had some very challenging times, while the meds were not always helping. You are amazing!

  3. April, you don’t have to be only positive…there are plenty of “sunshine-y” people who are full of it. You are honest, and empathetic, and vulnerable, and sincere…that is why people enjoy reading your blog. You have a quirky sense of humor that can come up out of the blue, like your Thursday posts, and sometimes it is easier(or harder) to stay up, up, up, when you feel down. That is ok too. Other people’s expectations can torture us too as we try to live up to some prescribed form (pun intended) of idealized existence. If you feel like writing something funny or positive, I am happy to read it. If you feel like writing something honest and sincere and heartfelt, good or bad, I feel like reading that too.

    • April says:

      I’m learning new things each day. Letting go of the negativity allows me to focus on the correct things. I still grieve for my family, but I know it is normal and doesn’t have to destroy me.

  4. Well communicated and thoughtfully shared. Onward, with your renewed strength, April.

  5. I love the quote April. And I love your statement to others “you are worthy”. Now, here’s to hoping they find their own message so they can take that first step.

  6. Glynis Jolly says:

    I wasn’t following you when you wrote about your first bout with depression, but I’ve witnessed (somewhat anyway) how you’ve hurdled the second time around. It’s going to be thought-provoking to see the path your blog takes now. 😉

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