in the next 50 years

When I become that 105-year-old lady honored by a news story celebrating my longevity, while the reporter waits with bated breath as I divulge my secret, I would have to shrug my shoulders.

Oh how nice it would be to say…I thought I would. I believed I would. I succeeded.

While I’m still not convinced that a person can simply think away depression, I’m working with my therapist to recognize what I can do about it. But y’all know that.

The mind is powerful. I used it to tear myself down, hold myself captive with false beliefs about my worth. The repetitive negative mind-talk worked! I had myself completely convinced that I was not worthy of breathing the same air as all the good people.

So….what do you think would happen if I turned all those thoughts into positive ones? I don’t think I need another 50 years to figure that one out because it seems like a duh question. Of course my thoughts have an impact on my sense of worth. My thoughts also have an impact on the health of my body.

Lately, I have been focusing on some what-ifs. I hate these pesky thoughts. How strong will I be when there is another death in the family–four-legged or otherwise? How strong will I be when we move to another foreign state? How strong will I be when another needs me to be strong for them?

As I’m trying to convince myself that sugary goodies are repulsive, I’m also attempting to convince myself that I am strong. Look at what I have survived!

I know that life isn’t a field of wild flowers and sunshine. No doubt, someone has ridden a horse through that field, and there will be some crap to maneuver around…but I’m ready.

What we feed our minds with has the same effect on our well being as what we feed our bodies. Unhealthy thoughts and foods create an unhealthy person.

The answer from my 105-year-old self may include a shrug…and the advice to take care of your mind—your body is along for the ride.


About April

I'll come back to this when I find out who I really am. I've been through some extremely rough patches but they have made me a better person. I blog if my brain is functioning first thing in the morning.
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20 Responses to in the next 50 years

  1. aviets says:

    I hope that belief that sugary treats are repulsive is contagious. I definitely need to catch it.

  2. Sounds legit. πŸ™‚

  3. mewhoami says:

    You are right about that. The real secret to long life is in how we think and respond to things.

  4. reocochran says:

    I admire your honesty, April. I am not sure what I would say if I made it to 105, April! Sometimes, I say my years of teaching ‘made a difference,’ sometimes I say I raised three children who still need help finding direction in their life, but they are happy. Not necessarily ‘successful’ the way the world measures ‘success.’ They are loved and love me, their children and their friends. That is enough…
    From what you have mentioned, your children are successful and happy. They love you and so does your husband… You will be able to keep on going, I believe in you!
    I hope you will not have to face many deaths, or any, this year, April. It does take a toll on anyone. I appreciate how it really can create a downward spiral in someone who has challenges, as you do, with mental health. My son and my brother take days sometimes in small increments, moment to moment. For years, I worried about their possible suicides, now I just have learned to support and give love, without worrying. Take care! Hugs, Robin

    • April says:

      Thank you for your kind words, Robin. I think love is the key to any life–no matter how long or short. I am now recognizing that where we let our thoughts linger has an impact on how we deal with the ugliness of life. I just have to keep reminding myself of that.

  5. That is the very essence of us, our mind. And caring for it is often over looked. Great advice April. I hope to be around waiting for your words of wisdom when that 105 mark hits too!

  6. To which I’d humbly add, one’s heart in addition to the mind. πŸ™‚

  7. Gallivanta says:

    Wise advice, and you are not even 105 yet. πŸ˜‰

    • April says:

      If I have any regrets, it would be that I didn’t learn this 30 years ago. But that’s okay, those screwed up years taught me great lessons.

  8. Glynis Jolly says:

    “The answer from my 105-year-old self may include a shrug…and the advice to take care of your mindβ€”your body is along for the ride.”

    A perfect quote for me. Absolutely brilliant, April! πŸ˜€ ❀

  9. suzjones says:

    I have to admit that I love your analogy of a field being the equivalent of life. Especially a field that has had a horse in it! Very cool. I do really like that.
    I think you’re on the road to success. You will make it. And I’ll be in the cheer squad. πŸ™‚

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