Last week I heard on the radio that Christmas was a week away. Wait a minute…I was just moaning about the Christmas decorations being put on the shelves at the stores before Halloween was over.
Where did the time go, and what did I do with it?
As much as those of us who have been diagnosed with cancer would love to hear the words, you’re cancer free, we receive doctor talk.
No evidence of disease.
A week ago, I had my scan.
Yesterday I received the results.
I have to pat myself on the back for not creating a big ball of anxiety. Instead of months or weeks of anxiety, I had two days of feeling sick to my stomach. I kept telling myself that I will deal with whatever the results are when I hear them.
I continue to deal with the complete drain that happens after the results are revealed. My husband and kids would like to pull out the party hats and have a jolly good time. Frankly, I would too, except that I can’t. I have to process the information. It’s a little confusing to those around me. It confuses me.
Dr. Skippy-Pants-Get-Sunshine, otherwise known as my oncologist, gave me the usual speech about how exercise is the best medicine…blah, blah.
I know that.
Then she looked me in the eye and told me to live.
She told me to quit living in 6-month increments.
She’s right, and I know that I’m not unique thinking about life in 6-month increments, I was a bit shocked when she said it. Was she reading my mind? No. Many before me, and many after me will be doing the same thing.
Very much so.
I must learn to live.
If you’d like, join me on my journey to learn to live. Not just beyond depression or anxiety, but to stop waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Next week, I will hear that New Year’s Eve is one week away.
I will know where the time went, and what I did with it.