Avoiding the grocery store—yet again

Part of the discipline I’m trying to impose upon myself, is to read blogs with my coffee. Blog a couple of times a week, and carry on.

Apparently, it’s a work in progress.

This morning I have read different blogs with topics which were enjoyable reads.

The topic of one blog was about rude questions and comments stay-at-home-moms endure. You know …and what do you do? aren’t you bored? While doing my genealogy research, the very early US census reports referred to my kind of people as keeping house, and that was admirable until it wasn’t anymore.

The topic of another blog was about people critiquing the blogging/writing styles of others. I have had an idea in my head to blog completely unedited. Meaning no backspaces when I type an incorrect letter or word. I know that my punctuation isn’t always correct, and my sentence structure is a bit askew, but I seriously don’t care. I would love to let loose every made up word I have in my vocabulary…and let the critiques rejoice in their criticisms.

I lingered over many beautiful photos, and read some wonderful poems.

Then I read a blog about fear and Faith. πŸ˜€

I have asked my husband where that opinionated–couldn’t-care-less about other’s opinions of me–that small part of me who relaxed and didn’t worry about entertaining or worrying about spending time wastefully—go? That time waster in me, isΒ now controlling my life.

I was the one at the edge of a river receiving safety instructions from our guide on my first whitewater rafting trip, praying…please don’t let me fall in, please don’t let me fall in. Fearful, but I did it anyway. Guess what? The first set of rapids everyone, including the guide,Β fell in the river except my extremely anxious friend. Whitewater rafting is by far, the most exhilarating activity I have participated in. I wouldn’t have known it if I didn’t do it in spite of my anxiety.

The one who decided to take flying lessons in a Cessna 152—the small plane equivalent of the Mini Cooper. I blame it on the cost of the lessons, but when I was instructed how to recover from a stall and a spin, that was a little more daredevilish than I wanted to be. Ha! Now I have a phobia of flying. Go figure.

The person with so much anxiety, but I did it anyway.

My motto was, I’ll try anything once, within reason.

Fear—the ball and chain I’ve acquired since the mostly carefree thinking of my early 20’s.

Fear?

You gotta go!

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About April

I'll come back to this when I find out who I really am. I've been through some extremely rough patches but they have made me a better person. I blog if my brain is functioning first thing in the morning.
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18 Responses to Avoiding the grocery store—yet again

  1. aviets says:

    I’ve never had that kind of ability to take on things that frighten me. Yet again, I admire you!

  2. It’s funny. I was just thinking about how I used to actively conquer my fear instead of swirling incessantly in a pool of anxiety. For me, I really think a lot of my inaction started when I had children. I no longer have the energy to jump into things that are scary and anxiety provoking. I use all my energy on meal-prep, cleaning and keeping little people alive. Every time I think that my children are maturing and life seems to get easier, I’m thrown another curveball. That sounds bad and negative but it’s true. I know better days are ahead but to some degree I’ve accepted that at this stage I must lead a more ordinary and less exciting life. Some days I’m more okay with that than others. I suppose for me I have to seek out the beauty and joy in unlikely places. Good post!

    • April says:

      Funny you say that, I also scaled back and anxiety took over when my kids were young. All the pressure of keeping them healthy and well fed, along with setting a good example and teaching them new things.That’s pretty draining.

  3. Elouise says:

    I love love love your idea of an unedited post! Just think of how much time we would all save….
    Elouise

  4. mewhoami says:

    Fear keeps us from doing so many things that we’d probably find so much enjoyment in if we were to just let go and do it. Like you, I’ll try anything once (with a few exceptions). Stay-at-home mothers should be appreciated and highly respected for what they do. They sacrifice their wants, their needs and their desires for those of their children. Bored? Ha! They’ve obviously never been home with their kids for long periods of time, or they don’t have any. As for writing a whole post unedited, I think that would be great. Those critics would have know idea how to handle that. πŸ™‚ Why anyone would edit another person’s work when it’s not asked for, is beyond my comprehension. This is blogging. We’re not writing novels here. Well, I’m not. Did you really fly a plane?

  5. Glynis Jolly says:

    I guess I’m like what you used to be. I’ll take those risks as long as they’re not too outlandish. I guess I’ve always been this way, just missing getting into trouble of some sort. Right now my life is a little boring, but mostly this is because I haven’t found anything really new to do that I can afford. :/

  6. Kate Loveton says:

    How brave – learning to fly a plane and hurtling over white water rapids! I bow to your courage! πŸ˜€

    • April says:

      I lost that person somewhere along the way, but I can’t live like I have been. Hopefully, in the next couple of weeks, my daughter and I are going to take a zip line tour in honor of my sister. It was on her bucket list, as well as visiting Georgia–she couldn’t do it, so we’re doing it for her. πŸ™‚

  7. suzjones says:

    Linda G. Hill on her blog has a SOCS (Stream of Consciousness Saturday) prompt every week that is written completing unedited and follows the random meanderings of our minds. I’ve done it a couple of times and find it so hard to not go back and edit grammar etc.
    There are many acronyms for fear such as ‘False Evidence Appearing Real’ and ‘F*** Everything and Run’ but I honestly believe that fear is just that which we do not know yet. Once we recognise our fear for what it is and step out in faith, it will go away.
    Hugs to you girl.

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