Lions and Tigers and Bears

…oh my!

Yeah, it’s sad, believe me Missy
When you’re born to be a sissy
Without the vim and verve
But I could show my prowess
Be a lion, not a mowess
If I only had the nerve

~The Cowardly Lion,  from the Wizard of Oz





As I tick the days off the calender, inching closer to that next stinkin’ CT scan, I have fear. Being able to face the fear of the unknown, takes courage.

I have fear, strength, and perseverance.

It’s courage I thought I was lacking, until a quote hit home for me.

Courage is being scared to death, but you saddle up anyway.

~Some sappy Christmas movie I couldn’t resist, even if it is too early. The words may have been different, but I think I remembered most of them. If not, this is my take on the words.~

As I fight to control my anxiety, which will eventually return me to the depths of depression, this time I realize I do have courage. Not strength, grit, determination, or perseverance.


In the words of the Cowardly Lion–with a word of my own,


Cancer—put ’em up, put ’em up



About April

I'll come back to this when I find out who I really am. I've been through some extremely rough patches but they have made me a better person. I blog if my brain is functioning first thing in the morning.
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16 Responses to Lions and Tigers and Bears

  1. meANXIETYme says:

    Not only the courage to deal with what is to come, but the courage to speak about it. Go get’em!

    • April says:

      I will. I’m going to need some discipline because Google is getting a lot of traffic about cancer prognoses, statistics of recurrence…..

      • meANXIETYme says:

        I really hate Google…

        • April says:

          I don’t so much hate Google itself, it’s my discipline to stop using it. 😀

          • meANXIETYme says:

            Having mostly conquered my Google obsession with health stuff, I KNOW it’s me. Still…I prefer to blame Google. 😉

            • April says:

              I remember when we first had internet service that was s l o w. I would look up some things, but not much. Ignorance helped me a lot. Life goes on, and now I look up everything, and try to find credible information–which can be hard. I had a book full of things that can happen to children. It would tell when something was important enough to see the doctor, which should be a no brainer, but motherhood isn’t easy. I survived without Google.

  2. mewhoami says:

    Wizard of Oz is full of lessons. Best movie ever! That’s right, use that courage. It’s within you already, just like it was in him. And I firmly believe that your CT scan will come back great, no problems. Nothing to fear, but fear itself. 🙂 grrrft

    • April says:

      Ha! It is a movie full of lessons. Too bad I didn’t understand that it wasn’t fantasy and I could actually learn lessons from the movie. I mean, how could I concentrate when all I wanted was those ruby red slippers!

  3. aviets says:

    The waiting is sooooooo hard. I’m sorry you’re having to struggle so hard against the anxiety and worry, but I totally get it. Sending good thoughts your way.

    • April says:

      You know, I’m actually not as anxious as I’ve been in the past. My therapist has done wonders for helping me control a lot of my anxiety. The one big struggle is when it comes on and I have no clue why I’m having problems.

  4. reocochran says:

    It would overwhelm me, what you have dealt with. I admire you and think that you definitely have courage, April! I used to like a book called, “Ferdinand,” about a bull who wished to sit in a field and smell flowers. I liked it very much. This post with the Cowardly Lion made me think of “Ferdinand!” Thanks for this post, its memories, too.

    • April says:

      I think what I have learned is that there can be another side to being overwhelmed. Took some dark days, and I’m still not perfect, but I’m getting there. Ferdinand sounds like my type of bull. 😀

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