tis a cancer post I’ll be writing
I have a CT scan coming up in about two months. I’m not really obsessing over the build up of what could happen, because I won’t know until I’m given the results.
Living with depression is hell, however I have wondered what I would do if I were to be diagnosed with cancer again.
I’m going to repeat….the first time, I had surgery to remove a portion of my lung. No chemo or radiation. Three years in remission. Doctor’s keep telling me I shouldn’t see cancer again. But I doubt them.
My vision of treatment, is receiving poison in the form of chemo drugs, or radiation to target a tumor, which doesn’t sound very enjoyable—and it isn’t. A person is sick going through this process. Some spend many days in hospitals depending on the type of cancer they have been diagnosed with, or how they are responding to treatment.
I wonder, how much more life is gained from chemo? A month, couple of years, a decade?Is the quality of life great? Do doctors really know? No, because we are individuals, and our response is ours. If I had to decide, would I just go the course of palliative care?
Is an extra month or two, a couple of years or two, living as a sick person from the treatment actually worth it? Can life be embraced, and looking forward to the future, a possibility while receiving such treatment?
I understand that cancer is painful, but is chemo a better option than to simply live with the pain?
Do I want my family watch me whither to a shell of the person I am now?
When it is our time, we have no choice. We do have a choice as to how we live our lives. I really haven’t heard from cancer patients who survived years or decades. What are their lives like after the treatment?
Is the treatment ongoing until there is nothing left to torture us with?
Just the thoughts on my mind while struggling with time management this morning/afternoon.