You know that huge bowl of ice cream which tests your ability to deny temptation?
I know that I have a choice whether to stick to a healthy eating plan, or to ignore the commitment I’ve made to myself, and eat that stinkin’ ice cream.
That’s the easy part of life.
The difficult, screwy part for me, is the confusion I create when I really want to participate in something, but I really don’t want to either.
Makes sense, doesn’t it?
It makes me cry.
It makes no sense.
Oh, I can create many excuses to avoid doing something, but not a one of them are the truth.
The truth is that I stand in my own way.
I move along with one leg out, just to make sure I trip myself up. Is it intentional? No.
Do I have control over it? Possibly.
But right now…this moment…I’m overwhelmed, and I fear the fear.
I’ll get over the fear.
I will still want to participate, but not want to either.
And someday, I will conquer that as well.