You Asked For It

Being the type of person completely opposite of the touchy-feely type, I tend to push most people away.

I have never been a great nurturer, but I tried. Thankfully, my kids weren’t sick that much. I don’t think I damaged them. Our daughter, at the age of 23, will still hold my hand at the store, and likes to be close when we are together. Our youngest always hugs us before he goes home. Our oldest will from time to time tell us he loves us–but it has been a while.

I’m afraid that I have so many plans, too many projects, so much to read, a paper hoard to conquer, photos to take, photos to edit…

I’m afraid I’ll die before I complete them all.

And this is the moment I wish I were touchy-feely, because that’s what I need.

More than words.


About April

I'll come back to this when I find out who I really am. I've been through some extremely rough patches but they have made me a better person. I blog if my brain is functioning first thing in the morning.
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17 Responses to You Asked For It

  1. Gallivanta says:

    My daughter and I would still hold hands if we were together. And I don’t mind holding my mother’s hand but I’m not really touchy-feely either. Virtual hugs, all the same. 😀

  2. Tracy says:

    Sending you hugs April!❤️

  3. I was never touchy huggy either. Though affectionate with my children and spouse. I used to, and still do, tell people who need hugged but it would be awkward for us both….”consider yourself hugged”. I can’t hug you. And with both of us being awkward with it, APril, please consider yourself hugged.

  4. aviets says:

    Sending a virtual hug, though I’m sure that’s inadequate…

  5. reocochran says:

    I think it is outstanding how your children express their feelings, April! Somehow you must have been someone special, maybe not a nurturer, but you showed them how to express their love for you and your husband. I was not too great in the sickness part, it is funny, I had to ‘rise to the occasion’ when my youngest daughter was diagnosed with JRA. We had quarterly doctor visits at Children’s Hospital and often I had to sit in clinics for the blood tests and regular MRA’s. When she got to be 21 and started going to the Columbus Arthritis Center, on her own, it is also funny, I missed going with her, being there by her side!

    • April says:

      I was a good listener, and I’m probably doing one of those negative mind things and showed more affection than I claim. I used to have a huge phobia about hospitals and clinics. I would have full blown panic attacks, so I avoided them until I had to go for babies and such. It’s great how we step up for those we love.

  6. Why be afraid? Does being fearful serve you well? maybe you are open to considering the ‘flip side?’ You’ve accomplished much and you have much more to do. In plenty of time. 🙂

    • April says:

      I have been thinking about this post all day. Probably because I’m doing something that doesn’t require any more skill than to keep paint off the floor and avoid falling from the step stool. Logically, I know it’s this moment that counts. I have the ability to look at the flip side, but this morning, I was whining about the fear. Being fearful doesn’t serve me at all, and words do matter. Your words have certainly steered my thoughts in a different direction.

  7. Cathy Bohlae says:

    Not that a cyber hug will work but sending you a few….because I want to!!!! hugs to you……

  8. suzjones says:

    Overcome your fear of flying and I’ll give you the biggest hug imaginable. 🙂

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