Change. It’s something we can always expect. What we choose to do with it, or how to deal with change, is up to us.
Our kids grow and change right in front of our eyes. We watch every new achievement, and the pride they have in their accomplishments. Independence and allowing them to think for themselves were important to us. We wanted them to resist peer pressure, and make wise choices. We felt as if they grew up with confidence.
I always told them that the person they fall in love with, will be the person who brings out the best in them.
So far, all is good. The Wee One is a bit young to be contemplating marriage and kids because he is still in college, and jobless. Sensible Girlfriend is not quite as sensible as we originally thought. She talks about their future wedding and children. Um? They are only 20, and while I think they are mature, I don’t think The Wee One is part of this conversation. He sees it in his future. His long-term future. I know, because I asked. 😀
We have only met Little Missy’s boyfriend a couple of times. They have been together for years. I’m thinking 4 years? I know he brings the best out in her. She has grown to be a wonderful young woman. She is happy—truly happy.
The first born, The Dooper Doo, I don’t know, and I’m afraid. I don’t see the partner he has chosen bringing out any good in him. In fact, he is almost the opposite of what he was before meeting her.
We were hesitant, but ready when our kids took their first solo drive. We were happy for them when they went on their first date. We had such pride in their accomplishments in high school, and loved the choices they made for furthering their education. We helped them pack and move into their adult homes.
We were ready for these changes. (kind of)
I know I have written about this, but it is one of my daily challenges that really beats on my heart and mind, bringing me to the edge of that pit.
The Dooper Doo has changed. I have finally accepted that I have lost him to what I would call manipulation. We certainly feel manipulated by both of them, but that is our fault. Sometimes, I wish I weren’t so stinkin’ nice, or had a little more Tough Love under my belt.
If I were to compare and contrast, this photo explains it all for me.
Change is one of the things we can bank on in life. My hope is that change will come again, and I will get my son back. My first born. The one who is so much smarter than I, but thinks like I do. The one who struggles with mental illness, and is intertwined with a person suffering from mental illness—or is extreme manipulation? The latter is what appears to be happening from our viewpoint. Either way, not a great combination to bring the best out in each other.
Hey you! Change!