Again, I will touch on the subject of “being careful for what you ask for”.
I have a little bit of a mess in my mind, which is evident through some of – well, most of my posts. I read a bunch of blogs which inspire me to think, which lead to Google searches for more information.
This is what I have learned.
Depression and procrastination go hand in hand. Ha! I was blaming my medications 😀 Medications can have this affect, but I have finally found what works for me, and now I’m just making excuses.
Attention deficit disorder – well, I haven’t spent much time researching this subject because obviously, it’s the bane of my existence. I get sidetracked. A lot.
My therapist always suggested that I have someone hold me accountable for sticking to my goals. I always looked at her with my best defiant look, and said I’m old enough–I can be accountable to myself–right? eye roll
I surrendered, and I have enlisted the help of my babysitter to hold me accountable.
His response—you have to work until you can play. To be more specific, I must accomplish what I have on my to-do list, before I can blog, craft, traipse around outside in my pajamas practicing my photography skills, and the most horrible of horrible suggestions…no knitting. Gah! I may take brief vacations from knitting (actually, it’s because one of my muscles is in extreme pain from the repetition of knitting), but knitting is what grounds me. I had to point out that blogging is what has helped me discover myself more than my therapist could.
I had a lot of but-but-buts.
But he’s right. I can’t “play” all the time, and then snivel because I never seem to reach my goals. Just because I can play when I want to–I’ve earned it–doesn’t mean I should. Unless I give up the frustration of not attaining goals, and my desire to avoid becoming the next star of Hoarders–there are things that I simply have to do.
Now, I have to find more “constructive” ways to spend my coffee time? I don’t think so, but my blogs may have to be written over a couple of days, or like this one–off the top of my head without much structure, or paying attention to the fact that I am not a writer or an expert at grammar, or punctuation. Not to mention that I like making up words.
I can’t stretch my coffee time to make it last any longer. I hate cold coffee, and running to warm it in the microwave is now making me feel guilty.
Therefore, I’m grounded.
However, I know that I’m an expert in slipping in things here and there. It’s called multitasking. It’s a talent a lot of people have, but I seriously received my lessons from my kids. Moms are the best multitaskers around. My challenge is ADD–which makes multitasking fun, except nothing is accomplished before my attention is diverted elsewhere.
Let this be a lesson to y’all. If you have to eat some crow, and enlist in the help of a babysitter to make sure you do all your chores before playing, don’t ask your spouse.
Especially one who reads your blog.