Just Be

I came across a question asking what death teaches us.

At the time, I scoffed at that question. Seriously? Unfortunately, I take things too literally–or used to–who knows what death teaches us if we’re dead? Other than that, it leaves behind the living, trying to cope with the heartache of missing someone we love, it inspires us to make a vow to embrace each day–which seems to be a vow we can’t keep–it teaches us how short life really is.

Years ago, when I was whining about my kids growing up and leaving the nest, whining about having to move across the country, and a whole bunch of other whines, my sister told me to read a book, The Power Of Now, by Eckhart Tolle.

She had such a relaxed way of dealing with life, so I thought I would try her recommendation, and I bought the book.

I tried to read the wise words of Mr. Tolle.


Months later, I tried again.


I felt stupid.

I tried reading it again.


It made absolutely no sense to me.

Whether it’s through the tools my therapist gave me, I have miraculously beat ADD, regrew some brain cells, or I am determined—but, I understand what the book is about!


I believe I need to return to that book.

My sister learned how to live while she knew she was dying. She didn’t just talk about it, she was an example. That is how I saw her live, how she always lived, but I never noticed.

Today, I will be.

(yes, that is the end of my sentence–I’m not going to be something–just me–in the moment)

Ha! Once I navigate the frustration of a constant daily battle with anxiety. You know what? I’m sure I’ll trip up here and there, but that’s okay. I have fallen on my face and I got back up–many times.

For the record, I know that the brain does not regenerate. I wish I had a way to make that happen and maybe there wouldn’t be any Alzheimer’s/Dementia, or people suffering from accidents which caused brain trauma. OR, Β maybe there wouldn’t be any mental illnesses.

Anyway, when I was young, I was told that beer damages brain cells. I suppose I had one too many beers. πŸ˜€

I may not have figured out what death really teaches us, other than the fact that life is short.

However, from the wise words ofΒ my sister, I know how to live, and I won’t ignore it any longer.




About April

I'll come back to this when I find out who I really am. I've been through some extremely rough patches but they have made me a better person. I blog if my brain is functioning first thing in the morning.
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27 Responses to Just Be

  1. Jen says:

    Ha! I had the same reaction to Eckhart Tolle :p I can appreciate what (I think) he’s trying to say, but I found Pema Chodron’s “When Things Fall Apart” much more accessible, and more reader friendly πŸ˜‰

    Enjoy “being” today πŸ™‚

  2. Jen says:

    This was a beautiful post, April. ❀

  3. meANXIETYme says:

    Ditto. What a lovely tribute to your sister.

  4. I enjoyed this post very much April πŸ™‚

  5. mewhoami says:

    Great perspective, April. Life is too short not to live it.

    • April says:

      Getting caught up in our own battles, or rushing around doing this-or-that takes us off track, and we forget to slow down and recognize things I have been ignoring.

  6. aviets says:

    I always admire your resolve. Thank you for just “being.” -Amy

  7. suzjones says:

    When the student is ready the teacher will come πŸ™‚

  8. From what you say, your sister would be very happy to hear this. πŸ™‚

  9. Gallivanta says:

    Be, Be, Be! And don’t despair; the brain does regenerate. Hope you can see this or at least use the links to reassure yourself of these brilliant new discoveries. http://theamazingworldofpsychiatry.wordpress.com/2013/09/14/neurogenesis-in-the-brain-a-talk-by-professor-richard-faull/?goback=.gde_1774685_member_273928715#!

    • April says:

      Oh! I love TED talks. I have one to watch about if diet really can prevent cancer. I have heard so many different opinions, I need more to come to my own conclusions.

      • Gallivanta says:

        Yes, there’s a lot of information to get our heads round. The problem with brain cell regeneration is that, although it happens, it doesn’t appear to happen fast enough to be all that useful! There is so much more to understand and figure out….about everything!

  10. I like the sound of this – I know I just have to keep working to get there. I will try reading the book. I have also read “When Things Fall Apart” but it has yet to really click with me. Maybe Tolles’ will?

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