You know those commercials with the sexy woman, walking seductively, hair flowing around her face? Yeah, that’s not me, but that’s how I feel when I walk into the Cancer Center.
I’m more like a floofy (the word my daughter and I use for plump) middle-aged lady, usually tripping over my own feet, with my hair flowing around my face, but it’s wild from the humidity in the air. Hair gets in my eyes and mouth, which is followed by a bunch of pbbt type noise
I’m confident, until I open the door to the clinic. My long hair becomes something I wish I could hide from all those who have lost theirs. I’ll keep growing it, and if I don’t need it, perhaps another will benefit.
The best thing I have accomplished, is to stop “researching” the prognosis of my cancer. It’s almost as frustrating as trying to get to the real issues and facts of any politician. Everybody has an opinion, but incomplete information is always apparent.
I will continue to fight–even through the breakdowns.
I have my days like yesterday, but usually, my fear is combined with a plethora (ha! big word for me) of other happenings at the same time.
….and such is life.
I am the sum of all my experiences, and a lot of those experiences have proved that I’m a fighter, and I will survive. I am aware that worrying doesn’t help, and that fear is like a barrier to enjoying today. Or I should say the moment. After all, that’s all we’re guaranteed–this moment.
And, yes…I’m still looking for beauty each day. Here are some of my favorites.
Hope you find something beautiful today.