When we moved across the States in 2006, it was a major change – duh. After living in the same area for an entire lifetime, moving to a foreign state was an adjustment. Add to that, three teens full of angst, but supportive of their dad’s career path.
We managed for a couple of years, and I tried everything I could do to help our kids transition to new schools.
In 2008, our family lost four family members in the span of 8 months. Both my mom’s parents, my dad, and my brother. Grief of this magnitude was rough, but I found a way to find something beautiful each day. A way to remind myself that there is so much around us that is worth living for.
Doing so, helped me through my grief, and brought me out of a depressive state, and I was beginning to learn to live again. Although I was having a rough time of letting the chicks leave the nest, it is a life cycle we must prepare for, because it’s normal. Tough, but normal.
Halfway through 2011, I was diagnosed with lung cancer. That little comfort zone I had created, and was learning to live again came crashing down upon me. Not only was I hit with depression, and self-hate, but an extreme, uncontrollable amount of anxiety.
I decided to take pictures of what I found beautiful, and blog about them for the times I wanted to give up. I had prior success with this mental task, I thought documenting it, and returning to my posts would remind me to live when things got rough.
I found this clematis that was growing up the side of my father-in-laws porch beautiful. Not sure if we can replant it in another spot, but I want to save it. The home inspector recommend we remove it due to insect infestations, which was evident by the wood rot to the porch.
I wanted to wait until the golden hour to get the perfect shot. I think I was frustrating the hungry men waiting to go to dinner, but I wanted the shot.
Sometimes, I wonder why I switched from a point-and-shoot camera to one with many buttons to mess with. While I usually leave my camera on automatic white balance, I had been practicing some indoor shots and had my camera set to tungsten white balance.
Meh, this is what I came up with, and with my meager knowledge of post processing, it’s the best I could make it look.
I hope you find something beautiful today. I’m going to certainly continue to look, and turn my mood around. That’s not to say that I won’t continue to write about this-or-that–some of it sad, some silly–I’m simply going to attempt to refocus a little bit harder.