I Found Coffee!

a cancer griping story

I have some brilliant ideas at times. Seriously!

Actually, I’m lazy, and I try to get as much done in one fell swoop.

I have my 55,000 tune up coming, and my Primary Torturer keeps moving further North. I told her if she ends up in Tennessee, or North Carolina, she was going to force me to find another doctor. Maybe that’s why she keeps moving. 🙂 (just kidding)

This morning, I had to have lab work, which the Torturer wants a week before the invasive tune up. I thought – hey, she’s just going to give me an order to go have a mammogram, I will call and have her set that up the same day as the lab work. That would save me an extra trip.

The only problem with that theory, I had to fast for the lab work. I couldn’t have coffee! No coffee and a 45 minute drive in morning traffic, and then wait another 50 minutes for the mammogram, was a bad idea.

…..I needed COFFEE!

Then I remembered–Squish and Smash had coffee! Free coffee! Bonus!

But that isn’t what I wanted to get off my chest (pun not intended–or was that even a pun?)

I have had many ultrasounds, and many mammograms. When there are a bunch of extra clicks made by the technician with their computer mouse, they are measuring something. My left side was given some special attention today, and it wasn’t because I was jiggling—and there were more than a few clicks.


My hope is that it is nothing, and I won’t have to make another trip, on top of the tune up. Besides, who wants to go through that torture, and further prodding, before the next year?

I hope my phone doesn’t ring.

If all is fine, I will get a letter. I’m waiting for the letter!

See where my mind goes?

One little cancerous nodule, found in 2011, has created mass hysteria over every little oddity in, or on my body. Well, I’m exaggerating, because I have been learning to tame that anxiety monster. The words of my therapist repeatedly run through my head. Do not worry about something that is not a fact. Today, this moment, the fact is, you are healthy until told different. You have nothing to worry about.

You know what the ENT told me last week? He said if my ear wasn’t better by this week, they would do a scan. A scan? What for? Do tumors cause ear infections? What if I have brain cancer?


Well, I’m off to see the ENT. I’m getting frequent flyer points for my weekly visits. 🙂 I hope he has good news, because my ear is still stuffed.




About April

I'll come back to this when I find out who I really am. I've been through some extremely rough patches but they have made me a better person. I blog if my brain is functioning first thing in the morning.
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17 Responses to I Found Coffee!

  1. Your positive spirit is amazing! Glad you got your coffee. 🙂

  2. mewhoami says:

    As much as your therapist is right about not worrying over things before they happen, we’re still human. I wish that they could get results back within the same hour. Some they can, they just put off telling us. It’s irritating to have to wait. More times than not, the results are fine, but it sure would be nice to know that right away than pace back and forth for a week.

    • April says:

      I know. I’m pretty sure if there is a problem, I will hear either tomorrow or the next day. The only problem, we are leaving on Wednesday for a week, so I will have to rely on my son, who never answers the phone to check for messages. Meh, I’m just going to put it out of my mind. It’s not a vacation we are going on, but I will have plenty to keep me busy.

  3. aviets says:

    Keeping my fingers crossed for the letter for you, too… -Amy

  4. suzjones says:

    I hope you get good news soon my friend.

  5. It doesn’t sound like mass hysteria to me. It sounds like a normal reaction. I will wait for the letter with you. What fantastic spirit you have ! 🙂

  6. Wish you the best and I will wait for the letter with you April @-}–

    • April says:

      If I make it until Friday without a phone call, then I can breathe a sigh. My mind is probably overactive, and I need to continue to let go of the worry. It’s such a process. 🙂 Thank you for your support!

  7. Glynis Jolly says:

    Your mood has been better lately. That in itself is going to help know matter what the outcome of the tests are. The ear infection — did he/she check for a ruptured ear drum? I do hope it has nothing to do with cancer of any kind.

  8. reocochran says:

    OW! A ruptured ear drum is quite painful. So sorry to hear about that. Hoping that all the rest of your tests reveal you are healed and in remission. I feel anyone ‘normal’ would worry, April!
    Coffee is definitely a prerequisite to every day I want to be able to function! Hugs, Robin

    • April says:

      No problems with the mammogram, but the ear is STILL a problem. I am soooooo tired of it. Hugs to you, Robin!

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