This morning, my husband is enjoying his usual Sunday morning quota of the Outdoor Channel, which consists of a lot of whispering and awful celebrating over a kill. I bury my head in the computer, or knitting. After hearing a shot, I swear, the hunters must pee their pants a bit.
I was distracted by a commercial with a man proudly waving a pair of underwear for the audience to enjoy—his underwear. He admitted to wearing the pair for five days, followed by a huge whiff. OMGarsh! Why? Apparently, one must not stink, or smell like a human in order to ambush a deer.
Eye roll – eye roll – eye roll
The differences between my husband and I are many. He is calm and methodical, I am anxiously methodical and expect perfection. He enjoys getting out to explore, while I could stay home–never leaving–for months. He is a hunter, I always believed I would never marry a hunter because I detest it. When I finally found love, I have simply recognized that this is his “hobby”, and he does eat what he kills, and waits for the big one in order to convince me to hang a dead deer head on our walls.
I could go on and on about our differences. We could be the poster children for how opposites attract, and are successful. Our base values and goals are the same. We hold mutual respect for each other. We find compromise in all situations.
He has never suffered from depression, and experiences the normal amount of anxiety most regular people experience. I’m over-the-top anxious to the point of thinking I’m dying, and going far out of my way to avoid anxiety. I obsess over situations, he deals with the issue.
I can’t claim that my depression has never caused any conflict between us, because it has. He simply doesn’t understand. Even though he never says things like, “snap out of it”, I wonder how many times he thinks it.
A situation I’m obsessing over, is whether two mentally ill people can co-exist.
I have always believed that the person we choose to commit, will bring the best side of us to the surface.
My husband has all the personality traits where I’m weak, he brings those to the surface for me, I often wonder how I bring out the best in him. He obviously sees something in me I don’t, but I’m continuing to learn–will never stop holding the belief that I will learn–I’m worthy of the love of another.
If this were the truth, how do two people suffering from some form of mental illness, bring out the best in each other? Aren’t they feeding off each other and amplifying their illnesses? Are they doomed to never attain recovery?
I have a life partner who is reasonable and can recognize behaviors I may not see, or refuse to see. He leads me to bring these changes to the attention of my therapist and psychologist. Doing so, may lead to other forms of therapy.
What if both suffer? Who recognizes the subtle changes?
What can I do about it?
And that is what I obsess over. When the main personality traits two people have in common, is mental illness, what happens?
Both of them could be wearing five-day underwear, and the other wouldn’t notice.