Stands With Fist

One of my favorite parts in the movie, Dances with Wolves, is when Stands With Fist describes to Dunbar how she was given her name.

When I came to live on the prairie, I worked every day… very hard… there was a woman who didn’t like me. She called me bad names… sometimes she beat me. One day she was calling me these bad names, her face in my face, and I hit her. I was not very big, but she fell down. She fell hard and didn’t move. I stood over her with my fist and asked if any other woman wanted to call me bad names… No one bothered me after that day.

I’m not advocating physically knocking someone down—this is my way of conveying a metaphorical interpretation of standing up for oneself.

I have had the desire to stop writing about depression because I feel as if I’m not reaching anyone. I use way too many words to describe personal struggles I incur while working toward recovery. I write about my vulnerabilities, many difficult to reveal, in order to share what it’s like living with depression. To show others they aren’t alone, as well as enlightening those who have never experienced depression.

My message is lost in my words.

Depressed people don’t want to be depressed, contrary to what some believe.

To repeat an example I have seen far too many times—would you make the following statements to a diabetic?

“You wouldn’t be a diabetic if you didn’t think you were”—“snap out of your diabetes”—“all you need to do is to have positive thoughts and your diabetes will go away”—“if you pray, and have enough Faith, your diabetes will go away”—“diabetes is all in your mind”—“you just need to get out more, be around others, and your diabetes will go away”.

Diabetes, along with many other diseases or disabilities, can’t be cured, but it can be managed.

Mental illness, in any form, is a disease.

In the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), there are many definitions of mental illness. Depression is a general term, but there are many complex diagnostic definitions under the umbrella of depression.

Any definition of mental illness, is a painful existence.

I stand with fist, and will continue to speak until everybody hears what is lost within my abundance of words.

…..maybe I’ll start by using less words?


About April

I'll come back to this when I find out who I really am. I've been through some extremely rough patches but they have made me a better person. I blog if my brain is functioning first thing in the morning.
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15 Responses to Stands With Fist

  1. mewhoami says:

    Good for you. It’s important for people to hear what you have to say and also for those suffering with depression to know that they are not alone. Stand with fist. Don’t get discouraged. You are making a difference.

    • April says:

      I hope so. I find myself typing and just as I talk, I kind of lose focus and lose my listener/reader. I need to focus a bit more. 🙂

  2. aviets says:

    Your diabetes analogy is perfect. Good thoughts! -Amy

    • April says:

      Thanks, Amy. Unfortunately, I have heard this analogy sooooo many times. But I suppose having diabetes doesn’t make for sensational television coverage either.

  3. The message is there – I tend to be a little ‘wordy’ at times, but it is part of who I am. I’m not sure of the exact solution, condensing everything so it it short and bite sized might lose some of its impact. I’ll follow on and see how you go…. You Trailblazer You 🙂
    Susan x

    • April says:

      🙂 I suppose it is kind of up to the reader how they interpret what is written. I find it odd that of all my blabber, at least one person will pick the sentence or paragraph and think that is what I’m trying to say. I try to write as a whole…I think I need to pay attention to editing? Ha! I’ll figure it out.

  4. suzjones says:

    You use enough words to make your point and that is what is important. I like your analogy of Stands with Fist. 🙂

  5. Gallivanta says:

    Well, your new header photo packs a punch. It’s gorgeous. Clematis and Wisteria? Such a lovely sight on this grey, drizzly day that I have.

  6. reocochran says:

    I loved that moment in the movie, too, April! I will defend you that you have a right to talk about your depression and I hope that you will find comfort in people’s responses. I am sorry I cannot always write but you are in my thoughts and prayers, carrying you with me on my walks. Take care and hugs, Robin

    • April says:

      Thank you Robin! Secretly, I’m hoping I explain what is inside my head so that it will make it easier for my husband to understand. 🙂 Like you, he has a hard time understanding depression, rarely knows what to say, but is always here to support me. Nothing needs to be said, listening is a huge thing! Hugs to you, April

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