As I have stated before, I’m a skimmer of news headlines. That enables me to decide whether or not to read “news” articles. I don’t appreciate local news because it consists of car accidents, house fires, shootings, and burglaries.
I keep up-to-date about any type of mischief, or burglaries in our local area, through updated notifications from our local police precinct. For weather, I have an app for that, and receive severe weather and tornado alerts through this app—as well as through our weather radio.
I do this, because I can’t process information which I’m unable to change the outcome. Reading bad news such as the 2004 Indian Ocean Tsunami, the tornado disaster in Joplin, Missouri, Hurricane Katrina, the 2010 earthquake in Haiti…….every world disaster, I become extremely obsessed with thoughts of fixing things for those suffering.
Our political system has become nothing more than a dark comedy. Each party placing blame on the other regarding our country’s woes. Games of withholding votes in order to pass bills to attain certain agendas.
A Supreme Court which has given corporations the status of being a “person”, and allowing extremely wealthy individuals throw gross amounts of money to the candidate they want in office, in order for the corporations to make more money through legislation.
We also have huge gasbags filling our heads with their idiotic opinions of our politicians which some of us believe as fact, instead of searching for the truth. Searching for the truth is nearly impossible, because it’s mired in the muck of repetitious false information, and rhetoric by candidates. Thus, leaving the average Independent, and young voters scratching their heads, and a desire to shred their voter registration cards.
I don’t sit back and say, “that is so sad”. I obsess about my inability to feed and clothe every soul impacted by devastation. I want to give them shelter, and help them put their lives back together. To give them hope, and to let them know somebody cares.
I want to take my wooden spoon and wave it in front of Congress, threatening if they can’t work together, the next one to step out of line will be placed with their noses in the corner—act like children, treated like children.
Obsessive thoughts like these consume my being, keeping me from sleeping, or eating right. Personally, we do what we can through donations, but that is never enough for the way my brain is wired.
So, I mostly live in a world void of current events. This creates an awkward feeling that I have nothing to contribute to a conversation. Which, well, leaves me feeling more awkward than I normally feel.
How silly is it, that we care about LeAnn Rimes sportin’ Daisy Dukes shorter than Jessica Simpson’s, or that she kissed her husband in public, and tweeted about her lunch experience with him?
Or…that Kim Kardashian’s wedding may be postponed. Or Taylor Swift’s parents want to take control of her career?
In the meantime, a bomb hidden in a crate of fruit, kills 20, injures 70 at a farmer’s market in Pakistan’s capital, filled with regular people, living their day-to-day lives. One of the horrific incidents happening throughout our world today.
We live in a troubled world, and I can’t fix it, so I become an ostrich. This disappoints me because I used to stand up for injustices, but my voice is too small, and I can’t beat the strong voice which makes me obsess. The kind of obsession which envelops my life, and personality.
I’m striving to become mentally healthy so that I can make a difference in early detection of lung cancer, work to fix our education system, to volunteer for The Red Cross, to gather a rational group of people to fight against the extreme lunatics who are coming out of the cracks like roaches, infiltrating our political system.
I don’t give up because I don’t believe that one person can’t make a difference, I give up because I have a mental illness which magnifies information and events, to a level where my life and opinions become ineffective.
I’m not finished, I continue to fight. I know I have to heal myself before I can help others.
I know our world may never be perfect, but I have a little world inside our home which I can improve. That is my focus for now, and I can accept that.
Though, some day………………………