A Look Into Our World

As I have stated before, I’m a skimmer of news headlines. That enables me to decide whether or not to read “news” articles. I don’t appreciate local news because it consists of car accidents, house fires, shootings, and burglaries.

I keep up-to-date about any type of mischief, or burglaries in our local area, through updated notifications from our local police precinct. For weather, I have an app for that, and receive severe weather and tornado alerts through this app—as well as through our weather radio.

I do this, because I can’t process information which I’m unable to change the outcome. Reading bad news such as the 2004 Indian Ocean Tsunami, the tornado disaster in Joplin, Missouri, Hurricane Katrina, the 2010 earthquake in Haiti…….every world disaster, I become extremely obsessed with thoughts of fixing things for those suffering.

Our political system has become nothing more than a dark comedy. Each party placing blame on the other regarding our country’s woes. Games of withholding votes in order to pass bills to attain certain agendas.

A Supreme Court which has given corporations the status of being a “person”, and allowing extremely wealthy individuals throw gross amounts of money to the candidate they want in office, in order for the corporations to make more money through legislation.

We also have huge gasbags filling our heads with their idiotic opinions of our politicians which some of us believe as fact, instead of searching for the truth. Searching for the truth is nearly impossible, because it’s mired in the muck of repetitious false information, and rhetoric by candidates. Thus, leaving the average Independent, and young voters scratching their heads, and a desire to shred their voter registration cards.

I don’t sit back and say, “that is so sad”. I obsess about my inability to feed and clothe every soul impacted by devastation. I want to give them shelter, and help them put their lives back together. To give them hope, and to let them know somebody cares.

I want to take my wooden spoon and wave it in front of Congress, threatening if they can’t work together, the next one to step out of line will be placed with their noses in the corner—act like children, treated like children.

Obsessive thoughts like these consume my being, keeping me from sleeping, or eating right. Personally, we do what we can through donations, but that is never enough for the way my brain is wired.

So, I mostly live in a world void of current events. This creates an awkward feeling that I have nothing to contribute to a conversation. Which, well, leaves me feeling more awkward than I normally feel.

How silly is it, that we care about LeAnn Rimes sportin’ Daisy Dukes shorter than Jessica Simpson’s, or that she kissed her husband in public, and tweeted about her lunch experience with him?

Or…that Kim Kardashian’s wedding may be postponed. Or Taylor Swift’s parents want to take control of her career?

In the meantime, a bomb hidden in a crate of fruit, kills 20, injures 70 at a farmer’s market in Pakistan’s capital, filled with regular people, living their day-to-day lives. One of the horrific incidents happening throughout our world today.

We live in a troubled world, and I can’t fix it, so I become an ostrich. This disappoints me because I used to stand up for injustices, but my voice is too small, and I can’t beat the strong voice which makes me obsess. The kind of obsession which envelops my life, and personality.

I’m striving to become mentally healthy so that I can make a difference in early detection of lung cancer, work to fix our education system, to volunteer for The Red Cross, to gather a rational group of people to fight against the extreme lunatics who are coming out of the cracks like roaches, infiltrating our political system.

I don’t give up because I don’t believe that one person can’t make a difference, I give up because I have a mental illness which magnifies information and events, to a level where my life and opinions become ineffective.

I’m not finished, I continue to fight. I know I have to heal myself before I can help others.

I know our world may never be perfect, but I have a little world inside our home which I can improve. That is my focus for now, and I can accept that.

Though, some day………………………

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About April

I'll come back to this when I find out who I really am. I've been through some extremely rough patches but they have made me a better person. I blog if my brain is functioning first thing in the morning.
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18 Responses to A Look Into Our World

  1. aviets says:

    Keep fighting… –
    Amy

  2. bwcarey says:

    your post is very informative, and you are correct in much that you say, but by sharing your thoughts, you give strenght to others, an army of good consists of many parts, those of us who make awareness, those of who make preparedness, and so on, we all count, when we all work together, we share the burden, and as you so rightly point out, the home is the base camp as they say, thanks for your post, it gives me hope, blessings. society has been constructed by well minded folks who got lost as they say and fell foul of righteousness, and confusing people is a practiced art form, you are not alone, so many see this way as well, but the great news is, the great Lord of Heaven, is aware of it too, so dont let fear become you, keep the faith and believe, amen.

    • April says:

      Thank you for your comments. I shared my thoughts to describe what I struggle with in my mind. I didn’t intend to give power to those who have lost their way. I intended to give power to those who are fighting the battle of depression and anxiety. Depression and anxiety are isolating illnesses, one where we feel alone and hopeless. It is not an illness that can be taken care of by God. If so, my prayers would have been answered, and not a single person on earth would suffer from mental illness. My shared thoughts were to my fellow sufferers, letting them know that they aren’t alone, and that we have to start small—which begins in our own home, in our own control over our mental and physical health.

  3. mewhoami says:

    These are great goals that you have. One person can make a difference. It’s happened many times before. Where there is one person who is determined and passionate about their cause, more people will follow. With that said, I’ve heard it asked and firmly believe that if our own home isn’t in order, then how can we possibly change the world? It starts at home, with us.

  4. suzjones says:

    April, I live just about every word you wrote. I cry watching the tv news sometimes. I can’t believe how ‘skewed’ our world has become.
    I want to save the world and help people but I know that it isn’t humanly possible. Last year, I kept donating things and money all the time until the GG begged me to stop by stating that we need to be careful with our money. With me, it’s all or nothing.
    So we are not ostriches ignoring the world when we stick out heads in the sand – we are just hoping to mute the din of the world a little to make it more bearable.

    • April says:

      One of the many steps that I had to do to move on and stop being so down, was to quit watching the news. I know I can help somewhere, I just need to be mentally stronger. There needs to be more people like us.

      • suzjones says:

        I don’t watch the news often. Last night our was filled with stories of toddlers kidnapped from their beds, a cyclone bearing down on the coast, politics and murder trials. It really is disheartening isn’t it. I found I had to detach myself from the toddler story.

        • April says:

          Yikes! The cyclone would be of interest, and I could see how a parent would want to be vigilant or aware a there is a pattern to kidnappings. It sounds like Australia is barraged with the same stuff we are. One time, when my kids were very young, I had extreme fear of leaving my house because of all the stories about women being abducted in parking lots. I think the only reason I faced my fears is that I had three little ones that I couldn’t let starve. Maybe that’s where my aversion to grocery shopping started. 🙂

          • suzjones says:

            Maybe that is where your aversion began. Who knows.
            I do know that my oldest is quite upset about the little girl going missing from her bed. (she has three young ones).
            Actually the cyclone was due to make landfall last night. I need to see what has happened.

  5. Hi April. Just letting you know I read your blog every day and am drawn back to it every time it pops up in my inbox. Wishing you health and happiness from Australia 🙂

    • April says:

      Hi! Even though I have been blogging for years, it wasn’t until – oh, the last 6 months – that I knew others read what I write. It used to be my mom, aunt, daughter, sister, and cousin. Needless to say, some of the technicalities of – well, technology is a mystery to me if I don’t have one of my kids around to “fill me in”. I know when I have WordPress followers, but I’m not sure if I’m notified of a follower via email. I will have to check in on that. I hopped over to your blog, and I’m definitely going to be a new follower. 🙂 Thanks for reading!

  6. April I’m in a place tonight where I can’t reply with any sense of intelligence. I just want to tell you this really touched me tonight. Thank you.

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