Upon arrival at the busy Atlanta airport, after our recent Missouri trip to take care of my father-in-law’s affairs, we had to hop on a shuttle to retrieve our car.
A jolly man hopped on the shuttle at the same time, and began speaking to my husband, as I suspect was normal for him. For some reason, I was invisible to this man (it must be my tinfoil hat I’m sportin’ these days), he carried on a short conversation with my husband, with what I describe as snoopy small talk.
He asked us if we were returning to Atlanta, or were we on vacation. Simple, innocuous chit-chat. After my husband responded that we were returning home from Missouri, the man continued by asking what we were doing in Missouri—the line of snoopiness was crossed. More words may have been exchanged, but I was distracted by other things.
I would have responded with something like “family emergency”. However, since he was speaking to my husband, and because I was invisible, my husband blurted out that we were there because his dad died.
The man squirmed a little in his seat, commented about how hard loss is, and then he shut his mouth. No more comments from him for the rest of the shuttle ride.
I was laughing on the inside. I find humor at the most inappropriate moments, and I should be ashamed. But I’m not, because that is what makes me, me. That man was far too snoopy, and my husband’s bluntness may have taught that man a lesson. The ornery part of me likes to see snoopy people squirm. 😀
The lesson I learned, and have been learning since…oh, forever…men definitely respond to situations in a completely opposite manner than women do.
I’m working through, or maybe it’s simple justification, to avoid doing something I know I should.
Having information, and not sharing it. Is it lying?
If asked about something specific, and answering with a vague response. Is it lying?
Avoiding a topic in order to side-step specific questions. Is it lying?
Even though I don’t hold much back in real life, I withhold information when I’m enjoying an attack of anxiety, or showered with the blissfulness of depression. Silence, is a coping mechanism that works for me during these painful experiences.
Withheld information from a snoopy-small-talk-stranger is well within my level of acceptable “lying”.
Withholding information I haven’t fully processed, and am not ready to share, is better for all parties concerned.
For those of us who appreciate total honesty, with a mix of bluntness, are we being hypocritical by leaving out specific details? I don’t mean with a stranger, but with a friend or family member.
I suppose the question should be, would I appreciate a loved one keeping information from me because they feel I couldn’t handle it, or that I would dog them until they were driven nuts by my questions—asked over and over, when I know they don’t have an answer?
It isn’t within our control how others interpret information we share with them, but is it okay to withhold information because we don’t have enough guts to face the response?
Am I not divulging information because I’m pretending that nothing is amiss?
My therapist is the one who tells me that I can’t worry about my health until I have all the facts. I don’t have all the facts, so why let a loved one worry—or do I let them work through their own anxiety, since I have no control over their reaction?
Sigh….so many questions to ponder. Must have more coffee, and deal with it another day.