…and the answer is…

Crap.

I had hopes that I would hear from Blunt Oncologist that all my upper innards looked great, and I could now start on a yearly scan schedule.

No.

I have a 3 mm nodule on my other lung. For us Americans who refuse to conform to the rest of the worlds form of measurement, that would be 1/64th of an inch. Yes, I had to look it up. There is some other suspicious activity in my liver and spleen, which I haven’t Googled yet, but it was enough to make Blunt Oncologist send me for another scan in 3 months.

***haha! I had originally said 3 ml, not 3 mm–silly American. 🙂

But that’s okay. I am having a pity party for one today, and then I’m going to LIVE. At this point, the findings are things which need further examination, that’s all.

I have said before, that I wanted to get a hair cut. Ms. Procrastinator Pants has not made an appointment because I haven’t found a style yet. ANYWAY, while walking into the cancer center, I felt a bit guilty. As I opened the door, long hair frazzled around my face, I felt a bit guilty being surrounded by chemo heads. I’m sure they long for their hair to return, and I felt I was kind of rubbing it in their faces.

The first thing Blunt Oncologist commented on was how long my hair had gotten. She asked if I was growing it for Locks of Love. She said they like to receive “virgin” hair, and at least 9 inches. I asked her exactly what virgin hair was, and she said—hair that was not color treated. I told her I had a lot of grey, and asked who would want that? She said it didn’t matter.

You know what? I never considered donating my old lady hair, but maybe there is another old lady who lost her hair to chemotherapy, and would like to purchase a human hair wig. So…I’m going to keep growing my hair until I have enough so that they can pitch the damaged stuff at the ends.

Other than the fact that Ms. Rude Receptionist asked me why I was giving my insurance cards–and then asked, wait, do you have new insurance? Duh! I told them last time–which was a couple of weeks ago–that I had new insurance. Actually, for every Torturer’s office I visit, they ALWAYS ask if my insurance has changed.

She gave me a lecture, and went about changing their records. She told me I had to TELL them that I had an insurance change. I told her I did that a couple of weeks ago. I guess it made her feel good to belittle me, than to recognize the person I checked in with last time, didn’t take a copy of my card and update their system.

So there you have it. My cancer story. The icky thoughts that I’m pushing to the vast empty space my brain isn’t using at the moment. They will stay there until I have something to deal with. I will not let it control my life.

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About April

I'll come back to this when I find out who I really am. I've been through some extremely rough patches but they have made me a better person. I blog if my brain is functioning first thing in the morning.
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17 Responses to …and the answer is…

  1. bmagpub says:

    more /hugs/. Don’t “enjoy” the pity party for too long, though. But, then get out and enjoy the living. Brett

  2. suzjones says:

    Putting some healing hugs onto a thin metal tube and winging them your way. 🙂 Oh babe!! Hang in there.

    • April says:

      Today, I’m okay. I’m not going to worry over it until I know something more definitive. According to doctors, radiologists make notations of a lot of small, innocuous findings. It’s all good to me because everything is extremely small so that would be early detection….or nothing. 🙂

  3. vicbriggs says:

    My mother had three types of cancer in four years, and she survived it all and doing very well now so I am confident you’ll pull through. You have the right attitude. Stay positive and keep going. x

    • April says:

      I know I won’t be Little Miss Sunshine every day, but I’m okay. I don’t want to waste any time worrying about what could happen. Happy to hear your mom’s story, it gives me inspiration!

      • vicbriggs says:

        She was a little trooper about it and always took time to enjoy the good days, and did everything she could to distract herself on a bad one. It was a relief when she got the all-clear and I am certain that you’ll soldier through just as well. xx

  4. I love the Little Miss Sunshine attitude! You wear it well. And I believe it serves us well to wear it. I love the hair donating idea. I think grey/silver/white hair is BEAUTIFUL!!!! 🙂

  5. I’m happy to read, that you choose to stay positive, best possible April. What we can’t change, there is no reason to worry about, it is just wast of good life quality. Send healing in your way 🙂

  6. Anonymous says:

    Okay, I’m terrible. I didn’t see this post and put a congratulations (basically) comment on your next post. I’m sorry. Well, this isn’t the greatest news in the world, but thankfully they are catching it soon so they can keep an eye on it. I know it’s unsettling though and I’m sorry. It is good to see that you’re not going to let it keep you down though.

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