When I turned 18, I couldn’t move out of my parent’s house fast enough. I had a decent job that could pay the bills, so I moved into my own little one bedroom apartment with my cat, about a 30 minute drive from my parents.
I had a bunch of hair-brained ideas which took me here-and-there for about five years, returning to my parent’s house for brief periods of time.
Our boys–young men–are doing the same thing to us. Other than the fact that we want to see them succeed with their independence, and one day get married and produce some grandchildren for me to spoil, I would let them live here forever.
I know, that’s not realistic–and I would probably get tired of having 40-year-old kids depending upon their parents as a form of avoiding adult responsibilities.
We seriously only had two months of an empty nest. The youngest moved out, the oldest returned after five years away, with the exception of one semester commuting.
It’s not like I clean up after my oldest, or do laundry–but I do mostly cook. (I’m seriously tired of being a house chef) However, it is nice to have someone else in the house. I also have the peace of mind knowing one of my kids is safe.
A week ago, The Wee One, decided he wanted to change directions. He can’t decide on a major, and wants to learn a trade so that he can earn a decent wage, while trying to decide. He is also finding that the friends he has, who have earned 4-year degrees, are finding it difficult to find jobs in the field they earned their degree.
The Wee One is a Googler, like his mom. He has discovered that if he learns a trade, he can make as much money as some with 4-year degrees.
The biggest shock? He said, he wished he would have listened to me—-haha! Mom is always right. 🙂 Unlike my older two, school has always been a challenge for my youngest. He is a hands on learner, and our public school system is not geared toward kids like him. Well, it isn’t geared toward kids like my older two either, but that is a gripe for another day.
When The Wee One graduated from high school, I tried to encourage him to try a technical college, just to see what that was like. I know there is some classwork, but I thought there were more opportunities for hands on type of experiences. Yes, thats what he wants to do now.
And he wants to move home while finishing his education. Yay, more money in our pocket.
With his dog. Um. Yeah.
Which really is fine with me. He does have a 5-10 year goal, and that is wonderful. It doesn’t include living with mom and dad indefinitely.
My oldest has goals too. We’re just waiting for him to apply the steps to reach them.
One who will never return, is our daughter. My little clone. The one who makes me laugh and brings out the funny side of me. The one who knows all my secrets, and knows how to use them against me. Luckily, she only does that as a defense mechanism to keep from receiving too much advice. She has been my teacher in the subject of how to parent an adult child.
Of course, my opinion is the polar opposite of my husbands–which is typical.
How can you blame a mother hen from wanting her little chicklets back in the hen house? Once a mom, always a mom. We just have to learn when to keep our advice to ourselves.
However, I’m going to have to find some creative ways to make our home an undesirable place to camp out for long periods of time—because, after all, they are adults.