Boomerang Kids–Good or Bad?

When I turned 18, I couldn’t move out of my parent’s house fast enough. I had a decent job that could pay the bills, so I moved into my own little one bedroom apartment with my cat, about a 30 minute drive from my parents.

I had a bunch of hair-brained ideas which took me here-and-there for about five years, returning to my parent’s house for brief periods of time.

Our boys–young men–are doing the same thing to us. Other than the fact that we want to see them succeed with their independence, and one day get married and produce some grandchildren for me to spoil, I would let them live here forever.

I know, that’s not realistic–and I would probably get tired of having 40-year-old kids depending upon their parents as a form of avoiding adult responsibilities.

We seriously only had two months of an empty nest. The youngest moved out, the oldest returned after five years away, with the exception of one semester commuting.

It’s not like I clean up after my oldest, or do laundry–but I do mostly cook. (I’m seriously tired of being a house chef) However, it is nice to have someone else in the house. I also have the peace of mind knowing one of my kids is safe.

A week ago, The Wee One, decided he wanted to change directions. He can’t decide on a major, and wants to learn a trade so that he can earn a decent wage, while trying to decide. He is also finding that the friends he has, who have earned 4-year degrees, are finding it difficult to find jobs in the field they earned their degree.

The Wee One is a Googler, like his mom. He has discovered that if he learns a trade, he can make as much money as some with 4-year degrees.

The biggest shock? He said, he wished he would have listened to me—-haha! Mom is always right. 🙂 Unlike my older two, school has always been a challenge for my youngest. He is a hands on learner, and our public school system is not geared toward kids like him. Well, it isn’t geared toward kids like my older two either, but that is a gripe for another day.

When The Wee One graduated from high school, I tried to encourage him to try a technical college, just to see what that was like. I know there is some classwork, but I thought there were more opportunities for hands on type of experiences. Yes, thats what he wants to do now.

And he wants to move home while finishing his education. Yay, more money in our pocket.

With his dog. Um. Yeah.

Which really is fine with me. He does have a 5-10 year goal, and that is wonderful. It doesn’t include living with mom and dad indefinitely.

My oldest has goals too. We’re just waiting for him to apply the steps to reach them.

One who will never return, is our daughter. My little clone. The one who makes me laugh and brings out the funny side of me. The one who knows all my secrets, and knows how to use them against me. Luckily, she only does that as a defense mechanism to keep from receiving too much advice. She has been my teacher in the subject of how to parent an adult child.

Lesson learned?

BACK OFF!

Of course, my opinion is the polar opposite of my husbands–which is typical.

How can you blame a mother hen from wanting her little chicklets back in the hen house? Once a mom, always a mom. We just have to learn when to keep our advice to ourselves.

However, I’m going to have to find some creative ways to make our home an undesirable place to camp out for long periods of time—because, after all, they are adults.

 

 

 

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About April

I'll come back to this when I find out who I really am. I've been through some extremely rough patches but they have made me a better person. I blog if my brain is functioning first thing in the morning.
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15 Responses to Boomerang Kids–Good or Bad?

  1. Enjoy them, while they are home. One day they are able to take care of themselves, and they will not come home in same way again.
    Irene

  2. aviets says:

    Isn’t it great how extremely different they can all be? I hope “Hotel Mom” is a good place for everyone, for just the right amount of time. 🙂 -Amy

  3. suzjones says:

    Agreed. I always told my daughter after she moved out “Yes, you can come back but don’t expect us to change our lives around you”. I know it sounds harsh but she needed to learn that independence.
    When I was younger I moved back home once for about 6 months and then decided that I couldn’t live with my parents any more because they wanted to be parents and I wanted my independence. Funny hey?

  4. harassme says:

    Aww, the mother hen imagery is adooorable… Your stories about The Wee One and the clone are both endearing and reassuring. Thanks for this post!

    • April says:

      Actually, the clone’s nickname is Little Missy Poo Poo, and the oldest is The Dooper Doo. They don’t appreciate them, The Wee One will never read my blog, so I can embarrass him without him knowing. 🙂

  5. Gallivanta says:

    I like the way the birds empty the nest; it’s fascinating and nerve-wrecking to watch. They simply refuse to feed the offspring until, eventually, they are forced to venture out and fend for themselves. Mind you, I have never had the courage to do that to my offspring 😦 .

    • April says:

      I had the pleasure of watching a couple of babies leave the nest, but I could hear the mother chirping to encourage them along. I had no idea that is what they do. Hmm…I could go on strike. With my youngest, all we have to do is go vegetarian, but that doesn’t work for the oldest–he eats anything if it’s prepared for him.

  6. mewhoami says:

    It’s wonderful that you keep the doors open for them to return. A good mother you are. It’s equally as good that you make it temporary and not a lifetime fix. It’s great to have kids at home, but there comes a time when they have to go out and learn on their own. It’s good for them to have a plan for the future, which it sounds like your kids do. That is great.

    • April says:

      Unfortunately, their return includes more animals. As far as the temporary thing goes, I’m hoping it will be that way for my oldest. He is slow to get moving, but we are starting to see some forward movement. While he is here, what a great time for my husband and I to get away. We have a live-in house sitter, and animal sitter.

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